LIVING AN INSANE LIFE!!! =|

survivor!

2009-04-15T17:28:00.002+08:00

ima survivor..
ima believer..
LOL!

kayy..i ain't shutting down my blog..=)
anw,i survived the whole day in school without my pencil case,calculator and fulscap paper. AMAZING! ouhyea,not to forget,english was damn slack.the freakin teacher didn't turn up for our lesson cos she had the dance team to attend to.shiok sia! me,syairah,louis and nadra talked about movies.it was SO random..HAHA!

so,sports day is in 2 days sia! so 'eggciting'!!(as di had put it.)my last year in TK,meaning my last and final sports day.so enthu sia sya! ^^ what am i looking forward to? hmm..i don't know actually.haha!

kayy..
know what,i ain't deleting my previous posts.=))
i'll just be posting a day's update.that'll be good.i think.
if u wanna read my previous posts,you can wait long2. ;)
let bygones be bygones..
i've learnt that today..YEAH! haha
tankiu to the HAVOC ppl for teaching me that today..
"its not him..just the world." LOL.. (inside joke!)
till here..
WAIT!
zee,take care man..hope to see u again on one of my future days..INSYA'ALLAH!
peace!

MY NOTE TO THE WORLD. =)

2009-04-14T16:12:00.002+08:00

WORLD,I AM SORRY FOR ALL THE MISTAKES I'VE DONE.NO ONE CAN RUN AWAY FROM THEM(i know).BUT THE FACT THAT ITS WEIGHING ME DOWN,DOES NOT MAKE IT A POSITIVE IMPACT ON ME.I'VE LEARNT MY LESSON.BUT FOR NOW,KEEPING EVERYTHING FROM MY PARENTS SEEM TO BE WORKING PRETTY WELL.I JUST NEED ANOTHER SOURCE OF LISTENING EARS,APART FROM MY FRIENDS.I LOST ONE,AND I DON'T EVEN THINK I'LL EVER HAVE IT BACK.I GUESS MANY OF YOU WOULD THINK THAT IM LIVING A COMFORTABLE LIFE WITH ALL MY NEEDS PROVIDED BY MY PARENTS.I GET WHATEVER I WANT.BUT NOT EVERYTHING.I CAN'T SEEM TO GET THE CONNECTION BETWEEN ME AND MY FAMILY.ITS LIKE THE CONNECTION LINE IS FAULTY OR SOMETHING.MY LIFE SEEM SO MISERABLE ON DAYS WHICH ANYONE ELSE ARE ENJOYING.I FEEL SO MUCH MORE ALIVE AND CHEERFUL WHEN I'M OUT DOING THINGS I ENJOY OR EVEN BEING AROUND MY FRIENDS.I DO NOT NEGLECT MY STUDIES,THOUGH.I GUESS THAT'S ONE POSITIVE POINT ABOUT ME.I DO RESPECT THE ELDERS AND HATES TO MIX AROUND WITH PEOPLE WHOM I CONSIDER AS 'MATS & MINAHS'.I HAVE MY OWN CIRCLE OF FRIENDS WHICH I AM GLAD THAT THEY ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.I KNOW 'HE' ENCOURAGES ME TO FOSTER THE BONDS BETWEEN ME AND MY FAMILY,BUT I SUPPOSE NOW IS JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME.I AM NOT SURE EXACTLY WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME,BUT I PROMISE THAT I WON'T PUT MY FAMILY ASIDE.BEING THE ELDEST CHILD SEEM TO BE TOUGH JOB.I KNOW OTHERS CAN COPE,BUT I'M NOT TOO SURE WHAT IS STOPPING ME FROM STAYING FOCUS WITH MY LIFE'S GOAL.LIKE I SAID,MAYBE I JUST NEED A LISTENING EAR.MY YOUNGER SIBLINGS ARE NOT ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER PART OF ME.HAVING 'GOD BROTHER' OR 'ABANG ANGKAT' WAS DEFINITELY HELPING IN TERMS THAT I WAS ABLE TO OPEN UP WHAT I HAVE BEEN KEEPING FOR A VERY LONG TIME.NOW,LOSING ONE JUST SIMPLY BRINGS ME BACK TO SQUARE ONE.ALL ARE SEALED UNTIL I AM ABLE TO OPEN UP TO SOMEONE AGAIN.

wondering why i used caps? well,cos im like totally hyper today and it seem pretty cool to write a whole long para with caps.i know im lame.just bare with me for today.the para sounds freakishly emo.but who cares.im like super hyper today.im overly excited for so many things today.mainly:no lecture after school(get to go home early),gonna catch a movie later tonight,managed to master 'AFTERLIFE' on my guitar,laughed so hard when bestie's drum stick flew when he was playing some random beats.i think im gonna have to shutdown this blog soon man.too much emo stuff.LOL! =P

cherios!

random..

2009-04-13T17:29:00.003+08:00

sup!
i didn't go to school again today.my leg was still swelling and it hurts when i walk.so daddy to took me to a massage shop.it felt really nice to be massage,but at the same time,it hurts real bad.i was controlling myself.i didn't want to scream,so i had the stupid look on my face throughout the massage.my leg felt super weird right after the massage.i walked in an awkward way.so now i think my leg is better and i shall be going to school tomorow and take part in sports day,this friday..=)

so,that was just a summary of what happened today(a small part of today). =)

okeyy.i tried to take the iniciative to approah zee/talk to zee.bbut i just can't bring myself to even open my mouth to say HI to him (ima loser.i know.=_=).texting him definitely dont work.i will just end up wasting my money on it.and& online? he doesn't likes to chat,from what i know(the last time i checked).he often checkout his FB profile but there's no freakin privacy there!u post him a comment on his wall,and the whole world know you did(or atleast your friends do). furthermore,i think he'll just delete the comments i'd send him.=(

kayy..enough crap!
wanna go study lit..
wait..was that me who just said that?? 0.o
peace!

pissed..

2009-04-12T18:33:00.003+08:00

im so Fucking pissed..

nothing seems to turn out the way i want them to.my injured ankle seem to be stopping me from doing loads of stuff.i was kept away from training(BOUT IS IN 3 WEEKS TIME!)..my life seems so mundane..everytime i just sit around doing nothing,i'll end up thinking bout certain stuff which i have tried forgetting..maybe its time i give up running away from my past..it's like haunting me.they are in my every dream,my every nightmare.u cn see from my previous post that im in an EMO mode..have been feeling super deep and emo-ish lately.issit because choices is gonna end and that there'll be no more stress-free activities?the guilt is weighing me down! GRR!!

ok..STOP!!!
wait..i can't..=(

deep inside me badly wants him to read this and the previous post cos its the only way i can tell him how i really feel. there is no hope in texting or talking to him face to face.when ever i see him,my heart just sinks and my guilt starts to rise.maybe it was too late to apologise,but it was from the bottom of my heart.i realised my fault.i said i was sorry,but i also know that it's gonna be hard for him to ever forgive that mistake.i can't help feeling sorry and guilty from then on.i spoke to no one about it.i hardly talk about my life to anyone,not even to my parents.my communication is only limited to certain people,including him.bottling things up works best for me ever since.i dun care if i blow up.i feel so much comfortable that way. when you see me smile,it could just be the smile that is hiding everything from the surface of earth.its only between me and my heart's content.when you see me in a moody state,it could mean that something is up and you don't wanna ask.it could just blow you away.

well,till here..i truly hope my life would just turn upside down now!running away is definitely NOT an option..
peace!

ps:im sorry if you think im writing crap..=_=

realisation!

2009-04-09T14:11:00.004+08:00

i don't really know what's up with me today..
i mean,i've been doing alot of thinking and stone-ing away..
so here's my second post for the day..

we were strangers back then.then we started off as a student and her coach.every session we had together was very memorable.nothing beats the time we have spent together.as days and weeks goes by,we became closer - we became friends.we joke,we share stories and we even hangout! soon,we were more than friends.i treated you like my brother.i opened up to you.i told you things that i can't even tell my friends nor parents.you were my only lifeline when things started going haywire in my life.you noticed the change in me.you gave me so much support and advice just to watch me go back to the right track in life.i respected you.i loved you.you meant everything to me.you knew me inside-out.when i my relationship with a friend worsened,you noticed it even when i tried so hard to hide it and kept everything to myself.i was shocked at first,but i realised its because you've always been there for me,so you knew what kind of problems i face.
when things look so good between us,it just had to change.our relationship worsen.we quarreled.we were not in talking terms.nothing seem to enable us to improve the relationship.i knew i was partly wrong.i said i was sorry.i regreted so much!i cried so hard inside.no one knows how much it hurts.i tried to let out my emotions in the gym,but it just got me injured.i was so frustrated.i am still frustrated.i miss you.i miss talking to you.i need to talk to you.there is so much i have to tell you,to share with you.i still do look up to you.you mean so much to me,still. every time i see you around,it will just relieve my heartache.however,it still hurts me to not be able to have a decent conversation with you.i cannot put in words,how much i miss you and how much it hurts me to see you depart.will i ever have you back in my life?will i ever be able to let everything that i've been keeping to myself out to you?will you ever forgive me?
big bro,i just want to let you know that i will never forget those amazing days i have spent with you.i will not forget what you have told me,what you have adviced me.i've learnt so much from you,apart from inline skating and some other stuff.honestly,my life would seem so much better if you were still there for me.you taught me so much about how i should cherish my life - my teenage life.i knew how much you didn't want me to have bad influences.i also remembered you saying that you hope that i would go to a JC cos you felt that i will be badly influeced if i were to go to a poly.you didn't want to see me turned into a spoilt brat.i will not forget all that.i promise you that i will not become a spoilt brat.i will watch what i do and who i befriend with.JC is just not my thing.i promise that i will succeed in life and education when i go to poly.you are my source of inspiration now.you my idol.you are the reason for me to lead a successful life.
I MISS YOU BRO..i wonder if you would ever read this.i wonder if someone would ever ask you to read this even if you didn't want to.maybe a miracle would.just maybe..once again bro,i am really sorry.i wish i could just turn back time and undo all my sins to you.i wish everything was perfectly normal as it was before.i wish it didn't have to end up this way.it hurts to see you depart from my life.it really does!
-your lil sis.your lil bowwow-

injured =_=

2009-04-09T12:47:00.002+08:00

hey..hey..hey..
happy good THURSDAY!! haha..
im not schooling today cos i got an MC..hehe
i sprained my ankle yesterday during PE while doing my shuttle run.despite my sprained ankle,i managed to achieve my personal best whch was 9.1 secs baybeh!kayy,so after some rest during school,my ankle got slightly better so i decided to carry on with my first ever long jump for the sports heats that afternoon. surprisingly,i got BRONZE! it was my first time in my whole entire life to be taking part in a long jump event. bronze was good enough for me. after the jump,my ankle worsened.it hurt really bad when i walk.doc said i have to use crutches or walking aid to help me walk for the next 3-5days.cannot apply pressure on the affected area.DAMN!

so,now im just slacking infront of the TV while blogging in.Mac's dying out real sn,whch means i've got to rush through this post..haha

till here..
peace!

messed up!

2009-04-07T20:37:00.003+08:00

kayy..
what can possibly go wrong when things seem so perfect right now? imagine u building the Eifel Tower with lego pieces.you were about to put that final piece at thee top,when all of a sudden a STUPID wind blew the whole structure down.well,my immediate reaction would be,"WHAT THE F**K!" yes..vulgarities would be at the top list of every reaction..people are just so used to saying them.some may even put them in between each and EVERY of the lines they construct in their conversation.AMAZING! =_=
thats nt e point here anyway.the point i want to bring up is,my life is slowly picking up its pace,but somehow there is something in its way.im not exactly sure myself.im still trying to figure it out.Could it be my relationship with my friends and family? Could it be the guilt that i've been carrying on my shoulders since ages? Could it be that i had left something so important in my life as my life progresses? hmm..hmm..hmm..hmm..and i think things are worsening in some ways..i told u everything was falling apart again.DAMN!

CHANGE TOPIC!!
so,today saw zee AGAIN today..not important!!!
[edit]
so,saw Alvin and Guoren today.Jokers! i heard alvin havin a bad time in SI and that he's gonna quit.OMG! well,only I know the reason.^^we did abit of catching up and crapping during my recess.It was raining so their lesson was sort of cancelled.the students just sat under the rotanda and slacked.it was nice talking to alvin although he was full of crap at most of the time.when it came to serious business,he was SERIOUS alright! haahaa..i realised after listening to alvin that SI has changed ALOT! or rather,the people have all 'disappeared'! Alvin's quiting,Zee's quiting,Sam have quit and Jason MIA.what happened to all the slacking kakis? ahh! wateva lh! at least SI still have the ever so hyper and enthu people.[not so much of enthu lh.forced to work what!] so,am i looking forward to go back to SI? maybe,maybe not.. see how lh..i was thinking of changing a working environment..but boss will surely kill me if he finds out i have been offered a job at SkateSports..DIE LH!!

anw,i've surveyed a few spots for my photoshoot.(by surveyed i mean checking out in the internet and NOT go to the place)i was thinking of Hortpark,Jln Sultan and..(i forgot the name of the place) any interested models?haha..u dun have to be skinny(as Di had would put it) or good looking.NOT AT ALL!! have you seen those super FAT models that become famous.like OMG lh! LOL! no offence to them..ouhyea,and i dun intend to have a whole wadrobe full of clothes for my models.im just going to go with what they wear to the location.(their own clothes lah!) hmm...

so much hmms...
ooo..ooo..ooo..
I MISS ZEE and DI!!
ehh..zee and di rhymes siol!
like got chemistry..ooo..
haha.. RANDOM sia!
sibei sian! so shagged out..
i reached home at 8pm today..
FROM SCHOOL LEI!! wahpiang!

peace!

photoshoot!!

2009-04-05T11:16:00.004+08:00

ARGH!!!
i just got an assignment for this month.Fred called me this morning just to tell me that he had sent an email.As the youngest photographer in the clan,they decided that i should be given 1 month to complete the assignment,which includes research,survey areas,search for models and photo editing.the others are only given HALF a month cos they're are supposedly more experienced and have more time in hand while i have SCHOOL!

The theme for this month is kinda open to anything.Its just up to our creativity.After reading the email,i was so lost!I'm glad my photoshoot with the kids are over.I have to start looking for ideas for this new assignment.

So,now i just need a model,someone who can do makeup and an assistant.Ouhyea,not to forget,can anyone give me ideas of good places to take pictures of models at?maybe something outstanding and different.like 'out-of-the-box' kinda way..pls leave any in my tagboard or just text me aite..

ITS FREAKIN URGENT!
peace!

[edited]
i just need afew models..

dying out

2009-04-04T20:40:00.002+08:00

and so,im dying out real soon..my heart is in pieces,my happy days have long disappeared.i lost touch with my dearest brother.i lost faith in the person who showed care and concern for me.my life seems so incomplete right now!i don't have anyone to talk to any more.no more big brother who would give me advice.no more him whom i can let go of my anger at.

such an emo way of strting my post huh? sowie lh..im just real bored right now,and so began thinking of those stuff..it really hurts to let go of someone whom you had gave so much love to and looked up to..

anw,lets talk happy-happy stuff aite.=D i miss my DEAREST ABANG FARHAN so much! haven't seen him for like 2 weeks! been texting him lately but thats nothing compared to seeing him.im planning to go catch a movie next week.maybe with him and some others.if i ask him to come along,that means i have to treat him.DAMN! haha..but still,he'll be a great company! [adik sayang abang! hehe]

k..
im starting to get bored..
peace!

tired -.-

2009-04-03T15:51:00.004+08:00

woah! im like so tired today.not only did hockey shagged me out today,so did the weather! it was freakin warm and i was freakin drenched in my own sweat after hockey session today.

so anw,we had evaluation for hockey today.zee said it was our last lesson but we insisted that there is one more session.hopefully there really is cos i cannot bear to stop attending choices or rather,for choices to end!anw,we just played matches after matches today.my team was made up of me(DUHH!!), vivian, kenny, sharmaine and ryan.we were the only team that was organised and had displayed teamwork throughout the matches.even then,we were taken advantage of cos we were spreaded out evenly.our opponent kept pushing all their players forward.it was like 2 of our defenders to all five of the opponent's players.SIAN! in a real hockey game,the coach will definitely scream at the team for not having an organised layout of players.so,we won 2 out of 4 or 5 matches today.we are proud of our team and performance cos we showed how a team was supposed to play.winning isnt everthing.it takes a team to win the match,n NOT SOLO work!maybe pushing every player up front would put pressure on the opponent's defence but that is just NOT the way to play.in the end,everyone would start hitting each other instead of the puck. -.-

well,spoke to zee today.LIKE FINALLY! bbut we didn't make eye contact.it was like talking to a wall that could respond - TALKING WALL (as Di had called it). we spoke for like approximately 3 mins. LOL! it was like a super short conversation,but it was a successful one! YAY ME! I SERIOUSLY MISS HIM LOR! i was SO glad to see him today,no? it was like seeing the path to heaven..OR WATEVA! haha..so i helped the coaches packed the stuff today..ALOT OF STUFF!! me just being me.i love to help others.^^its been so long since i had to do all that.the truck was SUPER full after we had stuffed everything in there.LOL!

so..
i've got a muay thai friendly match in like 1 hrs time.i should probably get going cos i have to do loads of prep:massage,gearing up and the briefings.wish me all the best.i REALLY need them cos im like so tired.i hope i can last throughout the match.HAHA! coach is so understanding cos he just texted me,saying "all the best for your match.give it all that you've got.winning or losing is not important today." kayy..

so yeah!
peace!

im so sick of love songs..

2009-04-02T21:40:00.003+08:00

okeyy..
firstly,THURSDAY IS SO OVER!! like finally bebeh! XD
so,tmr's FRIDAY! choices bodoh! like the second last session.i think.-.-

anw,today seem to go by damn freakin fast!it was really humid but i didn't exactly complain lah.kinda used to all the humidity especially during and after training.TRUST ME! =) so,baby boy fetched me aft school today.he looked really pale cos he was having a bad flu and high fever. but he still insisted on fetching me.[thx deary..]we took 15 to my place and i practically slept through out the journey and ignored him.HAHA! i was quite shagged..SERIOUSLY!

well,im currently B-O-R-E-D!!i've finished ALL my homework. like,WOW! haha..miracle sia! yet,i don't believe in miracles.-.- btw,DI!!! i miss u man..haha..so random sia sya! hope u come tmr..not only that,take the hockey session n NOT the inline session..hehe..

Ooo..i nidda get my plans together for this weekend,if not,im just gonna rot at home. i was thinking of going to this Muay Thai gym in the west area to pick up a TUFF tshirt which ZEE loves..its only sold there and i don't understand why he didn't get it himself when he actuali lives in the west.-.- even though i havn't really talked to him recently,i still wanna get him the tshirt. i just got my allowance from mummy this morning.i've got like $250 to spend this april.it excludes school allowance hor. ;)shall get one for myself too.*evil laugh*

so,im like SO SICK OF LOVE SONG..so sad and slow..haahaa! sounds familiar? i don't why i the lyrics kept repeating itself in my head.damn weird lah! im not really sick of love song.they're kinda ok to me lah.but i HATE oldies! not a fan of it AT ALL! eww!! sorry to those who likes them.*peace*

kk..
enuf blabbering..
wanna go watch some vids on youtube..
peace!

i feel good!

2009-04-01T21:04:00.003+08:00

Waddup yaw!!
well,today was great!! haha..my life is getting better.its slow but progressing...
wait..there's some upset as well..hmm..like english compo test today.i think i'll flung it lor! i practically wrote CRAP today.made wasn't operating for that whole 55mins.damn!

anw,aft school today..me mummy decided to take me and my bro to haagen daz!! haha.. i ate brownie with CHOCOLATE AND COOKIES ice cream.. shiok sia!! ^^ i wanted swensens,but mummy insisted on haagen daz.didn't regret going there AT ALL!! hehe..well,because of that treat i didnt go for aftnn training.-.-i went for the evening one instead..[sorry guys..i owe you guys a treat..hw bout swensens? friday? ^^] training was pretty tiring today..10mins of skipping,10mins of sprinting up and down the stairs and 80 sit-ups!!! hw's that aft eating desert? all the fats consumed earlier,was burnt off right away.-.- good job sya! btw,i've gotta gain weight by 3 weeks.6 kg to go! Jia You!! haha..i brought down my weight the other time and now i have to bring it up again..sian! but what to do? competition coming wat.. [picture below is the brownie with chocolate and cookies ice cream =)]

so,aft training,went to Alisya's house for dinner.Her mum ordered 6 boxes of pizza for 9 of us^^.. bring on the FOOD! and FATS!! guys,what happened to 'EATING HEALTHY' for the next 3 weeks?? so much for that huh? LOL! we watched the tele while indulging in the 6 boxes of pizza.i left her place at ard 8.45 for home..played the guitar and decided to search for my guitar picks..yes,SEARCH! haha.. found 4 of them..[see below]

ouhyea..not to forget!

im officially addicted to Jay Chou's song: Ting Ma Ma De Hua..it may be an old song,but the melody is damn nice!

kk..

got to go now..

my father making so much noise bout me spending to much time doing other stuff rather than spending time with the family..

im sorry to say this,but i don't really like to stay home or even spend time with my family.its HAVOC! everything will go wrong if i ever spend time with them.furthermore,i'll be blame for it.im sick and tired of all that.its time i change things.no more getting blamed for what i didn't do.no more being the 'punching bag' for others to make use of.im gonna step up and turn things around.i use the computer so that i can let go of my emotions.no one at home understands me.aft losing my big bro whom i can open up to,i think my blog is the only place i let go of everything.sorry for being emo all of a sudden.but my father just pissed me off.

peace!

i know...

2009-03-30T22:11:00.002+08:00

A million words wouldn't bring you back.
I know because I've tried.
Neither would a million tears.
I know because I've cried.

stupid sia!

2009-03-30T19:14:00.003+08:00

wassup!
no,today's is really a stupid day..i mean loads of crappy stuff happened.-.-
ouhyea,n i saw zee today.he gave me that freakin irritating smile..-.-

anw,lets begin my stupid post yar??
1st stupid incident..
well,this morning i woke up like 3.30am cans? n tot it was like 5.30am,so i kinda rushed.
i realised it was only like 4am when my phone alarm rang.*slaps forehead* seconds later,Haeqal (my neighbour from upstairs)called me.we always go for morning run on mondays and fridays from 4am till 5am.you should try doing so,cos u can hardly sweat due to the pretty cool temperature in the wee hours of the morning.so i changed out of my uniform to my tshirt and shorts and met Haeqal under the block.we ran our normal route and at normal rate.along the way,there was this wild dog that chased us.damn sway man!then this old man helped us to chase it away.we wanted to say thank you,but he later DISAPPEARED! spooky! so,we quickly cut short our morning run,which ended at 4.30am.it was pretty tiring even though we only ran for 1/2 hour,not counting being chased by the dog.-.-

2nd stupid incident..
when i reached school,mr see toh approached me.he asked me bout choices,but i was freakin blur.i gave him that "i don't get what you're saying" kinda look and he just laughed.when i finally realise what he was talkin bout, i went "ouh.choices.i dunno.the files are with us.we haven't done reflections."and i just walked away...
TALK ABOUT BEING TIRED AND SLEEPY!

3rd stupid incident..
when i was on the way home from school,this boy boarded the bus.he seemed really tired cos he slept immediately after seating down.seconds later,his file that he was holding on,slipped out of his hands,followed by his phone and school bag.the guy sitting next to him tried to pick the stuff up but the boy suddenly swayed towards the guy and was practically lying on the guys shoulders.LOL! TIDUR MATI! i couldn't help but to laugh,and so did the other passengers who saw. the boy only woke up when the bus jerk as the driver stop abruptly at the traffic light. i suppose the boy was SIBEI paiseyy lor! he immediately dropped off at the next stop.

so,now,im going out..
going to the gym with my fellow junior muay thai mates..
we've got the gym to ourselves this evening!
thx to the coach for helping us book the place..
train hard guys!
next bout coming up in 5 weeks!
cherios!

its just so hard..

2009-03-29T15:51:00.002+08:00

oh man! & it just had to rain..
which simply means im stuck at home! :(
i was actually looking forward to go out with rayhan,but it started pouring before we even comfirmed our plans..so much for a SUNday..

anw,wanna share with you part of a lyric from the song "A Little Too Not Over You" by David Archuleta..im actuali not a fan of his.but the song is nice.

i was playing the acoustic version of this song early on,but it didn't cross my mind what the lyrics were.HAHA!the melody is rather nice..so here it is..

"Tell me why you're so hard to forget

Don't remind me,I'm not over it.

Tell me why i can't seem to face the truth

I'm just a little too not over you,not over you

Aren't memories suppose to fade?

What's wrong with my heart?

Shake it off,let it go

Didn't think it'd be this hard."

im kinda emo-ing at home.i seriously looked so stoned earlier on cos i was dead bored and tired. and there's nothing interesting on the tele.my dear Mac just had to run out of batt,precisely why im using the family pc to update my blog.-.- and& when i have nothing to occupy my time,i would stone away and start thinking about all those stuff up my head.(like now!)so much stuff is bothering me right now.so tempted to do so mant STUPID things right now.LOL!

cherios!

PS: people,dun text me,im too lazy to reply.=)

sick!

2009-03-28T20:52:00.004+08:00

argh!!!
im like losing my voice and losing my MIND! im like FUCKING confused with so many things right now.like life and PEOPLE! im trying hard to keep everything to myself,but i've realise that its slowly killing me. i feel like CRYING and SCREAMING! dammit!

anw,was out since morning for a meeting for next week's photoshoot at Mount Faber.i was freakin sleepy during the meeting,thus didn't exactly catch what those people were saying. -.- aft 2 whole hours spent at the meeting,i left for Far East Plaza with 2 other photographers to capture some action there.it was the last day of the NOISE singapore showcase - or whatever its called. then we left for lucky plaza to indulge in nasi ayam penyet or SMASHED CHICKEN RICE..^^

you can say that my day was pretty OK,but let me tell you the truth.IT TOTALLY SUCKED! probably cos i was NOT in a good mood.my mind is just filled with so much stuff. (sorry fedrick for saying FUCK in almost all my sentence that i constructed today.)so anw,left for ECP @ 11am.(so u could see that i actually had a SUPER early lunch.we couldn't help it.we were bored and HUNGRY!) met the PUAKES at McD and headed for the beach.the weather was HOT! we had a lil game of beach soccer before i finally gave up cos i was just too tired and had my mood swings again.(thanks zee!-.-)so,im still at ECP right now,blogging in at McD.I've abandoned the PUAKES for the computer and a large cup of ICED MILO.^^ can somebody cheer me up?? i can't think straight.IM SO PISSED OFF!

btw,i suddenly don't believe in miracles anymore.its like going bck to square one where everything is falling apart again.when everything seems to be working out again,it just had to fall back apart.IM FUCKING CONFUSE PEOPLE! sibei sian lh! LIFE OFFICIALLY SUCK!

inuka,signing off.
peace!

Ps: I enjoy the company of SI people.Ah Xiong,Di and her sis,Melvyn kor kor,Ilham,Guoren and Shadow.pretty amazing how these people can,unintentionally,make you smile.
ouh..ouh..ouh..I MISS ABANG FARHAN! XD

tired bodoh!

2009-03-27T17:29:00.002+08:00

walauwei!!!
today damn tired sia! today's inline hockey was pretty ok,apart from the boring matches where you see people kept crashing into one another,girls screaming and people whacking their sticks all over the place.SIAN! THAT'S NOT CALLED A HOCKEY MATCH!! angry sia! nvmd..relax sya.. -.- the weather was freakin hot today! bbut all in all,was just OK! btw,my team won this week's match again..haha..and xiong treat the winning team to 100plus..SHIOK!
anw,zee didn't turn up today..i kinda expected..or rather,knew..wasn't really surprised,REALLY! miss him though.hehe..kayy,lets put that aside for now..ouh..ouh..ouh..should really talk to melvyn more.i don't really know why lah.i just find it entertaining to talk to him.LOL!

i've got muay thai training this evening,but im too tired to go.SHOULD I GO?? i don't wanna miss today's sparring session.but if i did stay home instead,i would benefit something too,which is to catch some sleeping time.haha.SERIOUSLY,im just very tired.muscles are all tensed up and eyes just wanna shut close right now.

btw,if u ppl haven't realise,its a friday..tomorow is supposedly a weekend which i should be looking forward to,but somehow im just not looking forward to the weekend.Cannot meet up with my dearest abang farhan cos i've got this thingy to do at some place.haha.im not too sure what exactly im going to do,but its definitely going to be boring!but look on the bright side,i get to stay out of the house! WEE! ^^

as im typing this,im listening to someone playing the drum from the opposite blk.i think its zee..hmm..he always practice his drumming at his friend's place which is just opposite my blk. kayy,wateva!

wanna go watch some tele..
den decide whether i'll be going for training.
peace!

PS: tmr is Earth Hour.. -.-

so happy!

2009-03-25T21:23:00.003+08:00

I FEEL GOOD!!! XD
today is one of my best days,although i did feel a lil sleepy.today was kinda slack cos the timetable for today was simply NOT stressing.ouh,not to forget,we had health screening today. 4F was,unsurpringly,hyper! we took our time at COE room before going for house meeting aft that.

Speaking of house meeting,sports day is coming real soon.im taking part in 4x100m relay, jevaline,discus,shot-put,long jump and mass run(run 1.2km under 8 mins).i kinda looking forward to it.SURPRISINGLY! bbut,i've got no experience AT ALL in throwing jevaline,discus,shot-put and long jump.Im OK with having to run.

Anw,abang farhan have been msging me since monday,asking me if i did go to school.cos on sunday,day before school reopened,i had cheekily told him that i didn't feel like going to school on monday.i got 'scolded' for saying that.-.- he was like,"otak u.jgn mcm2.u better go to skool" and "kla.i nk slip.nite2.n u better go skool tomorow!!!".he ACTUALLY cared.haha.i mean,he has always teased me about still being a student and blablabla.. "huh?skola?ape skola ni sumer?" he really is a very caring and lovable big brother of mine.^^u knw,i still am missing zee so badly! i miss all the times i had spent with him and all the love and fun we shared.0.o i need to talk to him so badly.there are so many things that i cannot open up to anyone except him.the thing is,he was there to hear me out when i had some probs,in the past.he was the one who was there for me when i was feelin down.he was the one who noticed that i had a prob with my gud fren,when no one else noticed.HE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME AND I NEED HIM HERE RIGHT NOW!

so,im pretty much looking forward to FRIDAY! aha.^^i can't wait to see my BIG BROTHER again.just seeing him would make my day a great one.i can't the deny the fact! though im kinda pissed at him for some certain reason,i cannot deny that i still do miss him so much! i realise now how much it hurts to let go of someone whom u loved,cared for,looked up to and cherish alot! its like being stabbed in the heart and it last a very long time.the only way it can be cured is when things finally resolves or when we just simply get to see the person and feel relieved.

hmm..
im feeling hungry right now..
shall order some McDonalds..
parents not home.got the house to myself.
but im spooked out by the sound of marbles bouncing above my unit.
SCARY SIA!!
trying to keep my cool by watching some indonesian drama..
heard of Cinta Fitri anyone? haha
6777 3777!!!

peace!
stay happy people,cos im trying to keep it that way. ;)

miracle!

2009-03-24T18:18:00.002+08:00

Eyy Yo! waddup yaw!!
no wat,IM BEGINNING TO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES
M-I-R-A-C-L-E-S...

well,there is progress in the recovery of my relationship with zee! YEEPEE!! although its kinda slow,the important things is that there is PROGRESS!! he finally replied my msgs.. THAT'S A MIRACLE! WEE!!^^ i couldn't stop smiling right after he replied. He made my day! ouhyea,he cut his hair..like AGAIN? n he's hiding it under his cap.. normal of him lh.. 0.o im still wondering how things would be like between us this friday..looking forward to it? MAYBE!

okeyy...
its only like the second day of term two n im like freakin shagged..not enough sleep lor! so much hwk,so many supp class n coming home late everyday..DAMMIT! i fell asleep during SS lecture today..NOT SURPRISING SEYY! -_-

till here lh..
im feeling SUPER tired..
wait..
I saw Di and them today..
I MISS ALL OF THEM SIA! FUCK!
i miss all the singapore people..=)
all the kor kor and jie jie..huhu
peace!

2009-03-21T13:11:00.002+08:00

DAMMIT!
i feel a fever coming! and im having this super IRRITATING flu n headaches.must have caught them form my two lil sis.

so anw,i went to town with my DEAREST ABANG FARHAN last night.had a really great time with him.^^..we talked,joked and randomly snapping pictures..it felt really good to have spent time with him.i mean,i can only see him on weekends(when im free) cos he'll be in camp during the weekdays.although we do text each other on weekdays,i still miss him so much!so aft,going to town,we both went home cos we had other plans.he left home again for clark quay to go to a club with his frens while i spent the night with Farah at my place,watching DVD.actually,i kinda fell asleep from the very beginning of the movie till the end.LOL! sorie babe! was really shagged that night.=)

hmm..
today is gonna be LONG day!will be going to my nenek's place for kenduri arwah.im oni looking forward to the tiramisu that's gonna be served..YUMMY!!^^..

ouhyea..
NOT to forget,school will reopen nex week..WEE!! homework not done..books not packed..but who gives a damn anw..everything will be done last minute..hehe..anw,this is gonna sound so random,but "I MISS ZEE SO FREAKIN MUCH!!"..things are still in a mess between us,but im still praying hard that it will resolve.u know,ystrdy while i was at town with my abang farhan,he started asking me about zee.bbut i was quick enough to change the topic and he DIDNT even realise it.PHEW! haha..

okeyy..
till here yaw..
keep it real!
peace!

Punk Fest

2009-03-19T11:43:00.002+08:00

waddup yaw!
above is a poster for tmr's punk fest.im helping a fren to promote this event.im looking for people interested to go with me.=)
i dropped by the normal jamming studio the other day and met the guys from Misissued.They're gonna perform tmr,so they wanted me to come.well,i feel like supporting them,but got no one to go thr with.hee..ANYONE INTERESTED?? just text me k?

anw,ive got the wires removed this morning.it feels great!haha..now im trying to figure out how to do my literature homework..damn!ive no clue as to how to even start!^^might as well not do right?or maybe make lil attempt..hmm..so much for completing my homework today.=))

so,im pretty much slacking at home right now.no trg today.no mood to go out,bbut will be going to bout quay with the puakes ltr tonight to celebrate Jj's bday.
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY BRO!

yea..
peace!

WEIRD!

2009-03-18T17:14:00.000+08:00

waddup yaw!
well,FYI,im feeling very2 weird right now,cos ive got wires attactched to my upper body.its called a holter whch monitors your heart rate for 24hrs.i've got to have it on me till tmr morning. i have to endure with this inconvenience so that i can officially be proved fit for my VERY FIRST Muay Thai bout this friday.

so anw,i can't wait for school to reopen,even though i haven't started on my homework.^^im PLANNING to start and finish every single homework tmr and NOT go out,whch is highly impossible cos as im typing this,my phone vibrated.The Puake's chief just texted me,"Kechyk,bsok nk kua?gi bout quay.Jj nye bday.pape picit double-D k."well,i guess i'll be going cos it'll be in the evening.i have the whole afternoon of tmr to complete my holiday homeworks.

n btw,Di has left for camp today till saturday.whch means i can only see her when school reopens,when she comes to TK.hmm..photography session was awesome today.the kids were dressed in summer outfit.CUTE! too bad i can't post the pics to the public..

okeyy..okeyy..
the pic above is half of the wires attatched to my body.they stuck layers after layers of tape before sticking a clear plaster over the tapes and wires.IT FEELS WEIRD!!!

peace!

My Holiday..

2009-03-17T11:31:00.004+08:00

SUB-SUB-OI! lol..
okeyy..i miss camps!!! n Di is going for one tmr n im jealous!! ^^
March Hols has started off really slowly for me.
IM BORED ppl!! -_-
i've been with my camera and going for trainings only.ouh wait,and hanging out and some bbq whch i had dragged myself down to a few of them.

im planning to go jamming one these days,when i don't feel lazy.=)i just have this urge to play the drums or even the guitar to a song called "Not Now-Blink 182" ..its been very long since i played that song.bbut the prob is,all my kakis are only free at nights.even my baby boy is only free after 6pm cos he has to work.[that i understand lh].

so,im going for a heart checkup tmr and will be using a holter(some wire thgy attached to ur chest for 24hr to monitor your heart rate).have to go tru it so that they officially say im fit for my FIRST international muay thai bout this friday.SIAN! im NOT mentally prepared,but ive trained hard for my physical wellness..whatever..

my mind has just been living its own life.ive been riding this roller coaster of emotions lately.call me EMO or whatever you want,bbut i just can't stop this emotions from distracting my life right now cos im kinda confused myself.things are pretty messed up,apart form school.im doing my best to clear things up so that i can live my life in peace and calmness.-_-staying home hasn't helped abit!it just get me thinking and stressing on stuff even more.precisely why im looking forward to going out with my peeps and my dearest abang farhan this weekend.and& for weekdays,i go for muay thai training to let out my anger on the punching bags and work with child models as their photographer.LOL!i do go out like to town or just hangout with the PUAKES! n spend my evenings with baby boy to wherever he takes me.

i can't wait for school to reopen so that i can occupy myself with tonnes of school work and not think of my other probs.ouh..ouh..ouh..I CANT WAIT TO SEE DI AGAIN SOON!

peace!

Persistence.Apologies.

2009-03-14T10:49:00.005+08:00

Defeat may test you;it need not stop you.
If at first you don't succeed,try another way.
For every obstacle there is a solution.
Nothing in the world can take the place of PERSISTENCE.
The greatest mistake is giving up..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
You Were My Everything
-a song by aviation,but i edited the lyrics n dedicate it to someone.

This goes out to someone that was
Once the most important person in my life
I didn’t realize it at the time
I can’t forgive myself for the way i've been acting so
I don’t really expect you to either
It’s just... I don’t even know
Just listen…

You’re the one that I want, the one that I need
The one that I gotta have just to succeed
When I first saw you, I knew it was real
I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel

That wasn’t me let me show you the way
I looked for the sun, but it’s raining today
I remember when I first opened up to you
It was like God was there, heaven in the skies

I wore a disguise 'cause I didn’t want people to get hurt
But I didn’t know I made everything worse
That is why i'm giving you my biggest apology ever
But its all up to u to accept it or never

cheers!

I SURVIVED!

2009-03-13T20:26:00.003+08:00

I MISS DI!! haha..
didn't had that much fun without her around..:(
furthermore,HE just had to come today..

okeyy..
its a friday,which i wasnt looking forward to..but,incredibly,i managed to survive the day's ordeal.WHOOTS!anw,COACH zee came today.i was totally ignoring him,but failed to avoid him.he was all over the street soccer court today.we just played matches after matches and he was the referee.my team won like 80% of today's matches..the champion team for the week,i guess.LOL!was very shagged after today's hockey sesson and was drenched in sweat..EWW!!(i know!)

so,
despite ignoring him today,i still wanna admit that i glanced at him several times.and i gotta admit that I MISS HIM! but wth,things can't be undone right?i had no mood,too.i thk he noticed.FUNNY! not! i wonder when will everything settle down..

STOP!!!
enough talking bout that..lets talk happy stuff yar?
ITS THE START OF THE MARCH HOLIDAYS!
bbut,sadly,im not gonna work with SI this march hols..
so sorie DI..i've got some other stuff to do..
BUT I WILL GO BACK TO SI AFT MY O LVLS!!
Di,when shall we go out together? looking forward to it eh..heh..

anw,
got to go now..
going to do some interesting stuff now..-_-
peace!

UPDATE ON MY LIFE!

2009-03-12T17:42:00.003+08:00

time check:5.42Pm

okeyy..
lets do an update of my life since i decided to be more cheerful..
well,first of all.."WHY MUST TODAY COME TO END THIS FAST!I DONT WANT FRIDAY TO COME!"...its pretty random,but its the first time in my life that im saying this..maybe its cos im just not looking forward to tmr.i bet its gonna suck!! FUCK! i just rmbrd that i got to take an english test tmr,aft schl..Dammit! i guess tmr's gonna suck partly bcos of that too.LOL!

so,
if u ppl haven't noticed yet,i've change my blogskin to a more cheerful colour.well,*i took Di's advice and im loving it.^^anw,like i was saying,today seem to end really fast and i don't seem to be shagged.i didn't even fall asleep today.CONGRATS SYA! -_-and& i wasn't feeling well today too.i havn't fully recovered from yesterday's killer headaches,but i seemed to have survived today's ordeal without any trouble.WOOHOO!

anyway..
why must so many unexpected things happen at the same time? breakups,quarrels and reconnection.the reconnection part is like the one who does the rescue-ing.sorry if u don't understand,but it'll be a long story if u ever asked me.im kind today,so i shall tell,but i'll cut it short.u remembered yesterday's post when i said i got a surprise visit? well,he is the one who is doing the rescue-ing.at the time when i was gonna breakdown and start losing control of my emotions,he came and was there to listen as i let everything out.he was there to hold me up as i slowly melt away into the world of mixed emotions.if he wasn't there,i wonder what could have happened.OMG! i sound so..so..
i gotta stop doing that man! remember:CHEERFUL!!

i think im writing crap,but what the HECK!
i just feel SUPER GREAT today!
and& ppl,how i wish i could just fastforward life to saturday..
i really don't want to go through a hell's day tmr..HELP!

keep it real ppl...
peace!

*notice that the font colour of the line which has Di's name is in GREEN.well,its her fav colour.LOL! random.

MC bebeh!

2009-03-11T16:51:00.006+08:00

wassup??
today,i had this freakin headache which was getting worst since last night.-_-not only that.i also have a swollen eye.the headache i had was practically KILLING me.but the funny thing was,aft i ate my medications,i was like damn hyper active.lol.i didn't really know why,but i still am feeling hyper active right now.

so,aft i went to visit the docs,i went to seashell park to meet the PUAKES who were lepak-ing there.i miss those days where i go home smelling like smoke + cologne aft seeing them.and usually aft meeting them,i wud go home straight n shower so that my parents wudn't know.^^well,i did my routine.meeting them today really made my day! we were laughing our heads off.the best part was,i forgot all my troubles aft that.INCREDIBLE ppl!

okeyy..
aft guoren's qs abt whether i know hw to do acid,i dcided to practice.well,aft spending like 1.5hr falling and trying again,i still couldn't do cross acid.sian! nvmd..i still nid more practice.n btw,i don't have SEBA skates with me anymore.temporarily.i've lend it to my best buddy for like 2 mths?i thk.i trust him.not worrying at all.haha

anw,im not looking forward to friday.there is 'choices' whch suck right now,esp when Di is not coming this friday.then there is this malay competition thingy.i am paired up with a secondary 1 boy.i don't even know who he is lah.haha.it'll be a long day for me.bbut,im looking forward to the MARCH HOLS!!! i might n might not go back to SI to work.i might be doing something else.i might be going for this camp thingy with a primary school.i'll be thier camp instructor.the last team i took was team FALCON,whch emerged as the best team for the camp.i miss them and my fellow instructors.im anxious to see what interesting thing i'll be able to do during the march hols.

wait!!!
someone gave me a surprise visit today! [ske seyy sya!^^]my baby boy just came back from Australia after spending 3 months there and abandoning me here in Singapore.bbut he came back at the wrong time,at the time where things have already took its toll.nevermind lah,boy.i still am happy that you're back.Rayhan..Rayhan.. i miss him so damn freakin much! i didn't talk to anybody bout him,cos if i did,i'd miss him even more!he dropped by my place at around 3pm juz nw,without giving me a call or texting me. lucky i ws home.!he brought a box of chocx and a super huge box which was wrapped up nicely.it was my SUPER belated birthday gift from him.he bought me a pair of Vans shoes,a dress,a shirt and a silver necklace which has our names engraved to it.Thank you my baby boy! "i've loads to tell you,n i need your shoulders to cry on.i feel like breaking down but im holding on for as long as i can.i want things to go back the way it was before.im looking forward to more time spent with you without any trouble done by me.I MISS YOU!"
*Rayhan is just my super bestfriend whom i can easily talk to.We are that close till ppl might thing were a couple,but were not.Atleast not at the moment.aha.;)*

peace!

DELETE!

2009-03-10T21:43:00.003+08:00

OMG!
why are things getting from bad to worst??i just had a 'brawl' with coach zee tru sms-ing.whatever it is,im not gonna talk about it EVER AGAIN!i have given him my biggest apology and hope things would resolve soon.but im not looking forward to the outcome.i have no right to tell him what he should do and what he should not do?who am i anyway right?i know i have made a BIG mistake,but things will change,just rest assure.im not gonna make any more mess for others to clean up for me.im not gonna be of any inconvinience to others.im just gonna layback like most other teenagers and join them in the game of defiancy and being spoilt.maybe i have just set standards which r too high for myself to reach.im gonna back down right now.sorry if things go wrong right now,cause ive got nothing to do with it.im not gonna cross lines.ive never crossed line. LETS SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT: when i make a mistake,i would surely apologise and turn things around for the better.im not the type of person to be causing troubles ALL THE TIME for others to clear up.that's just me.u may call me goody-two-shoes or watever,but that's just me! sometimes i create these problems,unintentionally.at most times,it will cause a realtionship to breakdown.but,i readily turn things around ALL THE TIME!

growing up really suck! especially when life makes it hard for u,making you face so much problems at once.i gotta admit i CANNOT face everything by myself.thats why im just gonna simply put it aside and just hope it will disappear.the only thing i can do now is,to delete every bit of my horrible past from my memory and forget about a particular group of people in my life.its for the best.no more big bro for me,no more having to rely on others to kip me smiling.im gonna achieve happiness all by myself by just simply living my life to the very extent of challenging myself and climbing to the peak of life!

now,i have promised myself to stay away from zee and not let tensions between us to rise.im not gonna make things worst between us.things just have to come to an end.its too late to turn back.im not at all worried cause i know i did play apart in our misunderstanding.hate me or love me,either way,im not gonna go back to the past and watch things repeat itself.im sick of all that.the future is more important!

SO THINGS ARE CHANGING!
new number,new friends.
but same old motto:live the life of MY expectations.
no more being emo!
no more big bro to turn to.
its just me and my life,right now.
IM BACKING DOWN!
peace!
Lil Fique,signing off!

save you lyric

2009-03-09T21:09:00.002+08:00

Save You-Simple Plan

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It's just skin and bones
There's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

(Ahahaha)
If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes i wish i could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know
(Oh)
I wish I could save you
I want you to know
(Ohohh)
I wish I could save you (oh)

happy-happy!

2009-03-09T12:52:00.003+08:00

Its a monday! sian..
the weather is considerably wonderful today.the rain and the wind really tempted me to fall asleep in class,especially during HISTORY LESSON..haha..

so..
im gonna start today's post with more cheerful stuff.-_-
well,today i feel kinda great.i met the SI coaches today after a week.really missed them,don't really know why.however,Big Bro wasn't there,as expected.Didn't really want to see him anyways.im still in a 'Cold War' with him.bbut if you asked me if i miss him,i have to admit that I DO! lets put that aside for now. i want to start on with cheerful stuff,remember?? so,i had loads of fun last weekend.i practically spend all my time for the weekends outside.i went to town on friday till like 3++ am for night photography and watch a friend's gig. Had so much fun with the MONYETS that night.i didn't really sleep that day and was out again the next day(saturday).i was at orchard road on saturday.i went shopping at Wisma Atria and Far East Plaza.i bought an $89 Nike jacket at the NikeId studio at Wisma Atria.then,i bought a sundress and two shirts at Far East Plaza.in all,i spent $180.^^after pampering myself,i decided to meet fedrick and alfian at the skate park.i was so excited to meet them cos its been 2yrs since i last saw them.they've been pretty busy since entering NS.but now,their kinda free and always asking me out to hangout.the problem is,now im the one who is always busy.damn!

now..its time to get down to business!
to tell you the truth,i feel like shutting down this blog! the things is,every time i read back my previous post i feel tempted to blow up.i mean,it feels like the prob is never going to end!i can't seem to find the right person or right time to open up and let everything out,except to write out in this blog.my parents are busy giving their attention to my 4 youger siblings.and if ever something were to go wrong at home,im sure to be blamed even though i'm hardly home.their reason is that i'm the eldest and that i should be of better example to my siblings. the problem is,i understand my friends better cos i spend 80% of my time outside with MY FRIENDS!
----- "sorry big bro,i don't know how to strenghten my relations wiht my family as how you want me to.i just can't find a way.i've tried all i can to make them proud.i've been doing well in school,yet i get blamed for all the mistakes i didn't do.that's why i need you here.i think im going to break down soon.SERIOUSLY!"----- ouh,and by the way,i've long gave up waiting for you to reply my SMSs.(i know you'd read this!)
so life sucks right now! i can't seem to relate to most of my friends,except for those i frequently see.for example,the MONYETS,the Puakes and the LAME SOCIETY.if you think were a bunch of slackers,please think TWICE! we do go to libraries to study when the exams draw near.we spend most of our time sharing stories of our life and giving support to one another.bbut,i can't seem to share anything to them right now.like i've said in the previous post,i think i can oni let out my probs to my BIG BRO.its not that i don't trust my friends or anything,i just feel more open to my BIG BRO.

hmm..
i pretty much chilled today.After school,i went to visit my band that i have left last year.even though i don't play for them anymore,i still do dropby and just jam for 2 hrs.it felt good after a very long time of not playing the drums or the guitar.i still got the skills man! aha.. the guys made my day today! we actually had a short performance at the studio.we played the song 'SAVE YOU' by simple plan.and& you know what,i don't know why i dedicated the song to BIG BRO.it was rather random.actually,when i hear this song or play this song,it will remind me of him.sian! I SERIOUSLY NEED TO GET HIM OUT OF MY MIND!
-i will post the lyrics in my next post aites.

okeyy..
enough being emo for nw..
i've got to look ahead..
and im SO looking forward to the MARCH HOLS!!
i seriously need to do some catching up in SI and in SLEEP!
ouhyea,i will change my template soon..
peace!

missing him!

2009-03-07T22:14:00.004+08:00

BIG BRO!!!
im missing you SO FREAKIN MUCH!
i've got loads to tell,but i dunno whr to start.
oni u cn understand me ryt nw..
i really nid u nw cos im on the verge of blowing up. ouh my! :S

okeyy ppl..
things are so messed up right now.i can't seem to figure out what went wrong with my life for the past few days.things are getting worst as i keep telling myself to hold on.im keeping too many stuff to myself right now cos i don't want to make others worry.i'm so stressed up right now,with my friends,family and LIFE! but the things is,im doing well in school. school hasn't been affected,one bit,by my other probs.that's great right? i think! even then,i can't seem to find the right person to open up to.the oni person i think i can easily talk to is BIG BRO ZEE,but i haven't spoken to him for quite some time. still,i miss him very much! i need him here,when im feeling low and at the verge of blowing up. even then,i always have a temporary smile on my face. having abang 'An to be entertained by,has always made my day.even his silliest msges would cheer me up.

so..
now i'm juz pretending that nothing is wrong.but in actual fact,i'm trying hard to contain my anger,stress and what ever other emotions i have right now.i just need to get out of the house. that's precisely why i always go out to town and do what i do best there-PHOTOGRAPHY!
well ppl,take this from me,don't ever keep things to yourself for too long or you'll end up blowing up.

cheers!
*im still missing you lah big bro!*

5 march

2009-03-05T23:29:00.001+08:00

TIME CHECK!: 11.30 PM

Okeyy..
For the past few days,i have to admit that LIFE SERIOUSLY SUCKED! I felt so shagged after school,everyday! Test after test,Remedials after remedials! Maybe its for the best,but still,WE ARE TIRED!! The positive thing about all the mugging,for the past few weeks,is that I'm Ace-ing my most of my tests! I told you that I have changed! I want to enjoy my last year in TK,even though my life there had sucked since secondary 1. Apart from that,I will cherish all the sweet memories I had there. Like my friends since Secondary 1. Were all in this together,right guys? The very first time I got to know big bro,through 'Choices' programme. I will never forget the days. Then another year of 'Choices' programme in secondary 4(this year) is also great! Met new friends like Di,xiong and the others. I cannot wait to return to work during the march holidays!

so nw..
I don't want to keep dwelling on my problems. I cannot let it get in the way of my life right now. I just hope things would return back to normal,and my life wouldn't seem as hard. I miss those sweet and peaceful times. I want my final year of being a secondary student to start off well and end off brilliantly. I truly hope my Big Bro and Abang would still be there and support me despite the roller coaster rides we're going through right now.I know i can trust my friends to keep the smile on my face and to make my days perfect for me.

im done being emo nw..haha
its juz that i have to let it out,to prevent me from blowing up!
for those who know me since like..ages?
u guys shud know very well the impact of me blowing up.
i dun wan to go bck to my past.
i dun wan to b the one making trouble for others to clean up.
big bro,as i've promised,i will b the best of my abilities.
i will nt let you down! i will nt let my family down!
okie dokes..
WORLD PEACE EVERYONE!

kindness..

2009-03-02T18:07:00.002+08:00

waddup yaw!
lets strt off with what ive been through the whole of today..pfft!
well,its a monday,if some of you haven't notice.MONDAYS ~~suck!~~ are great!its usually more of a day where you pick up the pace where you had left during the weekends.you know,the slacking and the laziness.so,lessons were pretty slack,apart from SS test which i totally screwed up.i think.Recess gotta be the 'awesomess' period today.why?cause i got to see the SI coaches.:)
the ever so hyper xiong,super friendly (in a weird way) shadow,Di and her friends,and not to forget,Big Bro.anyway,after school i had chemistry practical test and physics class test.they were kinda OK.that's because i managed to study for it..^^

okay..okay..enough of school already..
i wanna share lil something that im still dwelling on since like...ages?
well,you should all know the term kindness right?? if not,then in simple words it just means to do something good that others appreciate.so,i don't really know why i have been really kind and nice lately.i thought it was just another random act by me.however,its done constantly,like almost EVERYDAY!i've only started to notice this weird act of mine when a friend pointed out to me while we were at Raffles place for a photoshoot.Strange but true.I mean,I myself do not know what had triggered this.But the saddest thing is,my kindness was not repaid in a way that i had expected.Instead of getting something positive as the act of kindness,i get repaid by the act of jealousy.I suppose people who are jealous towards me just do not have a life!I wonder why they even bother to care about how i live my life.they even asked why i was so kind.How should I know??I am still thinking about it.maybe the act of kindness just flow through naturally? :S

so,yea...
weird stuff been happening lately.
Big Bro and his mood swings.
me and my troubles,which i don't seem to know what is the source of it all..
bbut,im still gonna stay strong and try to overcome all this.
at the same time,gotta try to speak to big bro again sn.
this 'cold war' btwn us really isn't helping my current situation.
wish me luck as i try to give him a call to chat later tonight. =))
peace!

morning!

2009-03-01T10:13:00.003+08:00

GUD MRNG WORLD! XD
dunno y im blogging this early..haha
bbut no worries,ive showered n eaten Breakfast..heh

so,like i said b4,ive got loads on my mind nw..
e thg is,its getting worst..YES! WORST!
more stuff are entering my life n making it miserable. F***!
im trying to contain them,but i feel like blowing up.
i feel awkward to wanna tell somebody.
furthermore,big bro has his own troubles.
i dun wanna make him worry too much bout me.
bbut,ive spoken to abang farhan bout it lh.
he's been a great help.always thr to kip me smiling.
thinking back,i too wanna see my big bro have the smile he always had.
he used to be so super HYPER, and CHEERFUL..
but recently,he's juz been in his own lalaland..=_=

"If sumhow,wen i luk into the sky,
a star drops into my hands,i wud
giv it to you n hope it will cheer u up
n put a permanent smile on ur face."

so,ive been spending loads of time trying get rid of my miserable days.
i go for muay thai trg even tho i was injured.
i kicked the bag till my legs looked swollen,bt it didnt.
i juz let my anger out. IT FELT SUPERB!
*anyone wanna join me in my next session?*
besides that,i do go out..like to town..ALOT!
juz FYI,im hardly at home lh.
i go town not to shop,bt to take pics..
pretty amazing hw a simple pic cud mean alot to u.
every pic i take,they remind me of the sweet times..
like those spent with Big Bro n Abang. ^^

oklh..im feeling hungry again..^^
wanna go grab some food..
den ltr going to raffles wif some peeps for a photoshoot!
cheers!

PS: i made new interesting frens from SI..
so happy to get to know them.
like Di,for example..cool people..
can't wait to go back to work in March!!
but,big bro myt be leaving SI.
tht means no him wen i return to work..:(

random!

2009-02-26T19:29:00.002+08:00

okeyy..
time check:7.30pm..
how u ppl out thr??
anw,im doin pretty ok,besides the stress schl life i have.=_=

so,i got an A1 for a recent chem test.
AMAZING,no? haha
tht juz goes to show tht u nid the effort to achieve..diaoz..

actuali i got some stuff up my mind..
hw do u tell ur own fren bout sumtin u dun lyk??
for example,their relationship thgy..EXAMPLE HOR!
i mean,its a lil awkward to do so..
i dun wanna hurt their feelings,no?
ive talk to big bro about this,and& his gvg his fullest support.
but wat gud is a support if u dun giv me an idea on hw to approach it?
[tankiu anw lh big bro.]
i cannot bear to say it straight to the person..dammit!

okeyy..okeyy..
enough of all tht..its making me go crazy..
TALK ABOUT PEER PRESSURE!
so,ive been feeling really hapie lately..
esp aft my bday..
and& u knw wat?
im going to make MAJOR changes in my life..
the day i turn 16 is the start of a new chapter of my life..
new goals,new motto,new EVERYTHING..
im glad i have BIG BRO ZEE n ABANG FARHAN to support me..
support me as i take my every step to face the obstacles in life..
[OMG! i sound so..so..u knw wat i mean..]
i gotta admit,without them is like a part of me will be dead..

im kinda done ryt nw..
bbut..WAIT!
check out this blog..
simple-simple-stories.bs
ive linked it...
tag ur opinion in the tag box aites..
peace!

BIG BRO n ABANG..
THX FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME..
I CANNOT BEAR TO LOSE YOU BOTH!
ITS TIME I LET U KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU BOTH!
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART..
-adik- -lil sis bowwow-

SWEET 16!

2009-02-22T22:39:00.004+08:00

21st FEBRUARY 2009!
the day i celebrated my SWEET 16 Bday!
i had it @ downtown east chalet..
it started of @ 5pm..
with some my frens n cuzzs cmg in early.
there were loads of food prepared by my dad.
Chicken wing,chicken kebab,otak2,prawn,fish,kacang phool n pasta!
aft 7,many more ppl start to come..
alot of unexpected ppl came..HAHA!
even DEAREST BIG BRO ZEE n DEAREST ABG AN came! WOW!
they kinda gave me a HUGE surprise..
later Sam appeared..haha..APPEARED!
was so glad big bro and abang came..so sweet of them..
abang An gave me chocx..MMM!! nice!
big bro came empty handed,but his appearance is my sweetest birthday gift ever!
i cudnt stop smiling seeing them both!
i got loads of presents n money..WEE! =))
so here are some of the pics..wanna see more,i will upload on multiply wen i get more pics from abg An aft he book out..
I LOVE MY BIG BRO N ABANG AN!
THX BIG BRO FOR STAYING UP N TALKING TO ME ON THE PHONE TO LET SOME LOAD OF MY SHOULDERS! I HARTS YOU BOTH! <3

Presents..
Dearest Abang Farhan..

Dearest Big Bro Zee!

The Three..

The Cake wif my PIC!

hapie2 days!

2009-02-17T17:03:00.003+08:00

ok HIE ppl!
sorie for the late updates..LOL!
been really bz lately..THX to school.NOT!
anw,wanted to post bout my sweet valentines,
but too lazy r..wud rather post somethg tht happen recently.

so,ive been really hapie lately..^^
apart from my upcoming bday..HEHE!
ppl hu r invited,PLS3 send me ur RSVP!
okey3..bck to topic..
I HAVE BEEN REALLY HAPIE LATELY!
aft valentines tht is..
i've been communicating wif my 2 brothers..haahaa..
big bro fauzee and bro farhan..
i really harts them alot.spend alot of time wif them..

i look up to them a lot..
I LOVE BOTH OF YOU ALOT!
I ENJOY THE TIME SPENT TOGETHER!
I WANT US TO STAY THIS CLOSE FOREVER! TILL ETERNITY!
they are my source of happiness..

so yea..
peace!

13 02 2009

2009-02-13T21:47:00.003+08:00

waddup ppl!
today's Friday the 13th!
and tommorow is??
VALENTINES DAY!!
hopefully my sweetest valentines,so far.
if u askin me if i got plans,I DO!
will tell u guys ltr in my post aite..

so,today Big Bro Zee very the pelik.
msged me like wanna ask on a date. WEIRD!
he wanted to know whether i was free to follow him to the gym.
but i was injured,so he decided to call off his plans.
so i went to Liang Seng to get his shin guards.
HE OWES ME $27.82. haha.
aft tht,i was suppose to go to his place,but was damn tired.
gave him an excuse and he was like,
"ok.go rest.will c u another time?nid me to come over your place?"
i didnt reply. TOO TIRED!!
managed to sleep for 2 hrs before going out.

oklh..dunno wat else to post..
peace!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ALL!

10 feb 09

2009-02-10T08:09:00.002+08:00

waddup ppl!
juz FYI,im @ schl now..(8.11AM)
cool huh?
cos im kinda slacking during DnT lesson..^^

anw,i got the most surprising news ystrdy.
wen i got home frm schl ystrdy,i opened my email.
its my usual routine before going off for muay thai trg.
so,i recieved 3 emails from Grasio.
i opened the first one which stated "FYI"..
i was shock to read,"Just to info all, one of our senior instructors, RAZALI SELAMAT, injured himself while training yesterday at Mountbatten CC. Apparently his arm broke and may need surgery."
i immediately cmfrmed the info wif kakak.
wen it ws cmfrmed i informed Yat,our team's vice capt.
we decided to pass the msg around.

after spending 30 mins sending msges,
me,Yat and shakirah decided to meet and go visit abg zali.
we met at changi hospital @ 745PM.
i was from Yio Chu Kang,send dearest him to camp.
he gave me money to take cab to CGH..aww..
abg zali's arm is like hellboy's arm..LOL!
uncle sheikh and wife came to visit him..SO SWAY!
i tried to hide but failed..HAHA!
so,we left the hospital @ 930PM..

i reached home,msged my dearest him..
waited for 2hrs from 10PM before he replied.
i was about to sleep wen my phone vibrated.
"sorry dear.da lights off tadi.so hw's ur abg?da mkn?"
i didnt dare to reply him,scared he'll get caught.
so i ignored.but he called me after 15mins. =_=
so we talked super softly and super fast.
within 10 mins,we ended our conversation.HAHA!

all in all,i miss my abg and feel sorie for him.
its been awhile since i had a decent conversation with him.
and& i so happy to have met dearest him.
dearest him is always there for me.morally and emotionally.
so ppl,choose your friends intelligently!
and hook up and stick to a guy like my dearest him.^^
peace!

i miss him much!

2009-02-07T23:01:00.002+08:00

ARGH! HELP ME!
I MISS HIM MUCH!

its been awhile since i last saw dearest him!
bbut i get to hear his voice and being entertained by his msges.
WAIT! tht's not enough for me!!! =s
i know he's been busy with some personal stuff.
i too have been busy lately. so im not blaming any1.
im glad we can understand each other's probs.
but sadly,the journey has been getting rougher.
we kip getting small quarrels over small matters.
i tried to reflect,and realise its over another person.
how the hell did that girl come into picture???
ASAL BOLEH MASUK FRAME! SIALNYE POMPUAN!

there is a girl hu is such a despo!
she is trying to win my dearest him's heart. WTH!
juz because dearest him taught her skating,she thinks their close.
GO FLY KITE LH BITCH!
she keep insisting that dearest him is falling for her.
and she badly wants him to stead with her! FUCK OFF LH BITCH!
she keep msging me,asking me to leave dearest him alone. NEVER!
she shud be the one keeping your hands off him!
she's never gonna have him for valentines or for a bf!

okie dokes.
juz wanna let things out!
peace!

MY BIRTHDAY!

2009-02-04T16:21:00.002+08:00

hey ppl!
if u havnt known,
MY BIRTHDAY IS CMG!
23rd February BEBEH!

neway,
im gonna have a celebration soon.
it will be held on 21st feb.
i will be having it at a chalet,downtown east!
im in the process of making the invitations.
bt if ur reading this,do tag me about ur attendance aites.
hope all peeps will come join me.
i hope i will be a SWEET 16 indeed.

so tc yar?
peace!

30 jan 2009

2009-01-30T20:39:00.002+08:00

gd day mate! aha..
hw u peeps out thr?
any cool stuff happening in ur life?
mine's pretty amazing actuali..

i've been living life to the fullest.
i've actuali studied for my tests.0.o
i guess its juz the effort tht's nidded. -_-

neway,today is like FRIDAY!
my most favourite day!!
not oni schl ends early,bt its the day DEAREST HIM books out!
how wonderful is tht??
i've really missed him..^^he didnt cntct me the past 2 days.
bt he eventually did this aftnn.he wanted me to come see him wen he booked out.
i wasnt feeling well,so i explained to him.he was OK wif it,and demanded i rest.
cos he didnt want me to feel sick wen we go out tmrw!
i really cant wait to see him again.
i cant wait to pamper myself in his arms.0.o
im VERY looking forward to his smile,voice,laughter n jokes.
it will definitely make my wikend a great one!
i hope he can make my troubles go away in juz one day wif him.hehe

i cannot imagine if leaves me at my most crucial moment.
i really nid him to be there to hold me up wen i fall.
i nid him to support me in every step i take in living my life.
i nid him to hold me close and never let go.
i nid him to understand my troules and be there wen im dying out.
i nid his arms,heart and soul,understanding and life to kip me moving forward.
he is everything to me at this moment.i cant bear to see him go.

I MISS YOU MUCH!
I NID YOU SO MUCH RYT NOW!
ALOT OF THINGS ARE OVERCOMING MY STRENGH!
I THINK IM GONNA FALL ANY MOMENT.
BUT IF YOU'D HOLD ME TIGHT,
I MIGHT JUZ RISE ABOVE EVERYONE'S EXPECTATIONS!
YOU ARE ALL I NID RYT NOW!

cheers!

p/s:thx for being here all this while boy.i wont disappoint you.

28th Jan 2009

2009-01-28T21:10:00.002+08:00

alermak!
i kip ryting my date as 2008..
slenge nye sya! da outdated bodoh!
nemind,me da upgrade skt.
more hardworking[chey deyba!]no link!

neway,i had been emailing Rifqi recently.
he may be my ex,but he is also my friend to confide in.
he knows me very well and how to treat my wounds.
ive decided to open up to him as i felt he was most suitable.
i had confided in him bout guy issues.
he was really understanding.
and im glad his girlfriend is also very unerstanding.

"Dear,there are many kind of guys out there.
Indeed,there are those horrible guys who only go after girls for their body.
I know that there are many 'Budak Baru Naik' that you may feel disgusted with.
Some being only 13,are trying to attract guys aged btwn 17-20.How childish!
I myself am disgusted with all these stuff.Its useless to talk to people like them.
Many people say NS guys are those 'naughty' guys who go after young girls.
It is true only to a small circumstance.Im 19,waiting for NS,and im not like that.
They only do that as they are intimidated by girls dressed like they've already passed the 18-yr-old mark.WTF! I know.I got attracted to one before and regreted as she was super childish!
Hearing you talk about 'him' all the time,tells me how much you know him.He sounds like a pretty decent guy.I know you've been telling me that he's been acting like a playboy,adding girls who have pics taken while thier in their sexy pose on Friendster.But you gotta chill abit.Boys will be boys until they get married.You've gotta losen up your thoughts about his activities as he might have influenced these from his friends.You said he smoke and at time go clubbing and drink.I guess its because of his wrong influence of friends.You should hold him tight and direct him to a better route in life.You should ensure that he is secure with you and make sure he trust you the way you do.And dont forget that communication is the key to a relationship.You must open up to him all the time and not keep any big secrets from him.He is your boyfriend/boyfriend to be.He will be the key to your happiness,sadness and laughter.I know you are just turning 16 this year,but it is a huge leap when you have a steady relationship with a guy and can last till a long time or forever.You may not think that he will be your life partner,but if it were fate,then you really have to cherish him.I know you very well.You know how to respect people around you and treat their feelings right.I hope he would be able to see this aspect of you and cherish you and not let you go.If you were ever to have any conflicts with him,give him a chance to state his stand.Dont be too harsh to ask for break.But i know you are not that type.I know you this well,cause i will cherish the time i had spent with you for 2yrs till our relationship broke down.im glad you are able to give me another chance,even if it means we'll just be friends.I have never seen you as an 'adik-adik' when i was with you.Age isn't the matter.Its the heart and attitude of the person that matters most!I love you,and forever will.I wish you all the best with him.If you ever have anymore troubles,dont be shy to confide in me.I will be there for you.No worries about my girlfriend.She understands.Btw,thanks for introducing me to her.She has made my life enjoyable as you did before.Its like she is the exact replacement of you.I love you,and I miss you.This is a long draggy email but its the best i can do.;)
With love,Rifqi."

So ppl,if you nid anitin,
go relationship prob or anitin,
juz confide in me,cos i know whr to get opinions.
i dun mind if you open up to me.
n ppl,wish me all the best with him yar? muahaha!

cheers!

hapie CNY!

2009-01-26T15:46:00.002+08:00

elo ppl!
firstly,HAPIE CNY EVRIBODY!
many2 thgs happened the last few days.
hapi thgs,sad thgs,funny thgs n super cool thgs.

so,saturday i went to pennin wif my fam..
yea,exactly,wif my family!
my dad offered to pay for anything we wanted to buy thr.
so,i bought many2 thgs.lazy to list luhh.
we shopped from 3pm till 7pm.
den we headed for beach road to buy dinner.
bought mee goreng,mee kuah n TULANG!
brought them all to me nenek's house.
aft spending some time thr,we left for mustapha centre.;)
thr,we shopped summore! haha..
u must be wondering y i wasnt at werk ryt?
well,cos i managed to change my shift! thx SX.

den sunday comes..
meet dearest him @ 12pm..
first promised to meet @ 10,bt he overslept.-_-
waited for him @ wdlnds MRT for like 45mins.
laen kali buat lagi yer??
den we took cab n headed for mount faber.
he wanted to have some photoshoot thr.
tke picture here,tke picture thr.
all the way till 4pm++..
den stomach strt making so much noise.
he wanted to go harbour front to eat Thaksin noodles.
n wanna blanje me,so juz go wif it lor!
we strt talking alot n laughing alot wen were eating.
he kip on talking bout his new wide angle lens.-_-
aft eating,decided to walk ard vivocity till ard 10pm.
n we took the MRT bck to pasir ris.
he sent me all the way to the doorstep.how sweet!-_-
n took cab home..*i paid for it hor!i insisted anw!*

so today is CNY! very mendak..
went for some collection this morning. =))
later got kenduri for arwah pakngah @ 5pm.
its his bday today.if he were still alive,he'd be 39 today!
now,juz waiting for the arrival for the relatives.

2mrw plan to go jln2 wif dearest him to I DUNNO WHR!
today he was juz sleeping at home.
n njoying his day off from NS.-_-
I MISS YOU MUCH!

cheers!

side track

2009-01-23T18:40:00.003+08:00

Name 10 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 10 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first. No cheating.♥

> 1. Farhan=my dearest policeman!
> 2. Sa'amah=2gether_4eva
> 3. Haidir=Badut(1)
> 4. Cutey Han=Badut(2)
> 5. Freddy=Badut(3)
> 6. Fardiah
> 7. Fauzee=my dearest bro
> 8. Juli=my dearest sis
> 9. Fendi
> 10. Farik
>
> 1.How did u meet no. 4? Cutey Han=Badut(2)
> somewhere lh.4got diaoz.
>
> 2.Do you have a crush on anyone up there?
> OUH YES! very big!
>
> 3.What would you do if you hadn't met number 1? Farhan=my dearest policeman!
> i wudnt be hu i am now.he has change my life ever since we got to know each other.he is my laughing gas and happy pill.he is my source of life.he is my dearest policeman hu protects me. he guides me in my of life,holding me tightly and make sure i wont fall.
>
> 4.What would you do if 6 and 2 were going out? Fardiah&Sa'amah=2gether_4eva
> ok wat.make frens.my 2gether_4eva n lepak sis shud really mit some day..haha
>
> 5.How did you meet number 8? Juli=my dearest sis
> she is my dearest brother's girlfriend.so she is now my dearest sis.so how didya thg i met her?
>
> 6.Is 2 one of your best friends? Sa'amah=2gether_4eva
> OFCOS! my 2gether_4eva summore!
>
> 7.Whose number 9's best friend(s)? Fendi
> This 1 i know.cos its ME! haha.n the three baduts:cutey,freddy n haidir
>
> 8.Have you ever dated number 1? Farhan=my dearest policeman!
> yeap.fun dude! my source of life man!
>
> 9.Do you miss number 4? Cutey Han=Badut(2)
> i do! so much! he always so bz wif werk.haiz.
>
> 10.What do u think of number 6? Fardiah
> the best lepak sis.anitym u feel like lepak-ing,juz call her,she'll definitely join u.12 midnight ke,2am ke..she will DEFINITELY come lh.
>
> 11.What do you think of number 7? Fauzee=my dearest bro
> he is the best abg angkat u can ever have.he guides u in life,protect u,pamper u,supports u. he is an ex gangster,so he knws the good n bad stuf cos he has experience them all.he wants the best for me.LOVE YOU ABG!
>
> 12.Who does number 3 like? Haidir=Badut(1)
> haha.he like this girl from his work place.if im not wrong,her name is diana.hehe
>
> 13.Have you ever been inside number 8's house? Juli=my dearest sis
> nope.bt she lives juz opposite my house.haha
>
> 14.Do you love number 9? Fendi
> i love him alot! some1 i cn look up to for advice or help in studies or juz plain hangout.
>
> 15. Ever been in the same bed as any of the numbers?
> yea..not all larh.
>
> 16.What do u tink of no. 5? Freddy=Badut(3)
> he is my dearest badut,which means he is a joker.never fail to make me smile n make my day.
>
> 17.Number 10? Farik
> he is my fren's brother.he very kind n helpful.
>
> 18.Do you trust these people?
> YES! they are all my source of life. i depend on them for my happiness,prosperity n progress for my own life...LOL!

ok..
dis is random stuff.
but i was bored!
cheers!

its finally friday!

2009-01-23T15:35:00.003+08:00

YAY!
ITS FINALLY FRIDAY!
the day ive been waiting for..haha

neway,schl sucked today.
had some heart folding session..
followed by photo taking..LAME BODOH!
den its CNY concert whch was super BORING!
got hiphop dance n its was not enthu n energetic.
haiz..i practically tortured myself today..LOL!

wen it finally ended,i quickly left.
was suppose to go to work bt decided to change shift.
so i went home to change n left again.
met the bdk2 at PR int before going to city hall.
they were so happy to see me aft so long!
hug here hug thr.KECOH BODOH!

so,we lepak-ed at esplanade..as usual..
ate PIZZA that we ordered to be sent thr.
talk2,laugh2,girls screaming,guys teasing.
den we went to marina sq.Dan wanna buy shirt.
aft some mischevious time thr,decided to go to my place.
slept tru out the journey bck to PR.TIRED SAK!
and now we're here! MY PLACE!
guys playing XBOX..
girls playing poker cards.aha.

ltr got 1 lesson @ ECP..
so,waiting for my driver come pick me up.hehe.

ouhyea!
NOT TO FORGET!
DEAREST HIM is gonna book out today!
woohoo! can't wait!
oni afew hours to go!
i'll be waiting for you boy!
gonna enjoy the wikend wif you.WEE!!

cheers!

21st jan

2009-01-21T20:43:00.003+08:00

alo!
today got no interesting story r..
very the boring day for me! haiz..sian!

finished school @3.30pm today cos of EL supp class.
was freakin tired after school.diaoz..
so,msged bro zee today.bout some random stuff.
nothing important really.HAHA!
den had quite a long conversation over the phone wif Cuteyku syg!
talk bout our nex gathering whch is this sunday!
cannot wait lar seyy! get to meet the Monyets again!

i reached home about 4.30-5pm lyk dat.
i didnt go home straight actually.
i went to fendi's place den we went to my crib.
had a quick bite before leaving for trg @ golden mile.

as usual,trg was pretty tough.
pad work,bag work,shadow sparring.
alot of areas still nidda improve.
STAMINA is one of them..
did ALOT of skipping,bt i was too tired to do it properly.
i stop after every 20 skips.LOL!

anw,now very shagged.
i have yet to do my homework.SIAN!!!!
plan to do ltr,before going to sleep.
bt i doubt i wud even finish it today.
worst come to worst,do in school lor!
btw,friday i got half day of school oni.
plan to go to ECP wif nazurah.
or sumwhere else lar.see how lor!
if i dun go ECP,plan to go to SI.
wanna go collect my pay lar! haha

so,nw wanna go watch some tv.
den ltr do hwk..
cheers!

"MD FARHAN B ZAINUDDIN,I MISS YOU!
JANGAN LUPER MSG ME BILER DA BOOK OUT!
IM STILL COUNTING DOWN TAW!!
I REALLY MISS YOU!!"

trapped!!

2009-01-20T21:04:00.003+08:00

hello!!
i got 1 situation for you guys to think about!

what wud u do if...
you are the girl hu juz broke up with your bf,bcos your bf got another gf.at the same time,u met another guy,bt u both are close frens after that guy asked u to pretend to be his girlfren infront of his cuzzens juz for one day.however,after that one day,that guy fell in love with you n confested.you told him u were unprepared for another relationship and your heart is still in pieces.the guy then promised that he will not make you cry as he feels hurt seeing you cry over the break-up.as time pass,u began to fall in love with the guy too.at the same time,your ex broke up with his gf after finding out that she was juz using him for his money.he regret leaving you,n hoped to patch things up.however,you already confested your love to the guy n started going out frequently with each other.later,your ex came looking for you.he kissed you on the chick n apologised.the guy saw wat happened n his heart was crushed.however,you told your ex dat you didn't want to patch things up even tho u still love him.you decided to go with the guy,but he turned you away after the incident.
SO NOW WAT WUD U DO???

ok..
its abit draggy but i hope you understand..
if u were in this situation,wat wud u do?
if it was me,i wud try to talk things out with the guy i now love.
he has put the smile back on me after i broke up in the earlier relationship.
altho,he has broken his promise of not letting me cry,
its best to tell him the truth and have his trust back.
and as for the ex,dun giv him hope of ever patching back.
so,
giv me ur opinions on my tagboard yar?
i bet thr'll be interesting comments!

bout today..
another boring day indeed!
finish schl @ 2pm..no xtra class for me..
left schl for dental appt at outram..
met haidir n han @ the bstp before going for checkup.
after dental,went to mit abg farik @ far east plaza.
had a short shopping spree with him n haidir.
han had left for work n didnt follow us.
we went to abg farik's fav shop to buy a shirt.
his fren werk thr so he got discount.
he also bought me a blouse whch i LOVE!!
den his fren ask if i was his gf..WTF!
haidir was lyk.."yar!yar!" yar your head lar boy!
after shopping,both guys sent me home..so sweet hor?
got bodyguard to send me home until my doorstep summore!
so,now slacking.managed to do ALL my hwk.MIRACLE!
@ 11pm will be going otp wif my dearest..haha..
i seriously miss him!! boy,dun ever let me go!

kk..
now bored n hungry!
cheers!

sick!

2009-01-17T19:26:00.002+08:00

waddup yaww!
well,i ws on MC ystrdy..
thx to SUPER bad flu,Fever n sore throat.
was so sick this morning too.LOL!

neway,
since i wasnt feeling well since ystrdy,
ive decided to rest @ home..
and NOT go out..WOW!
dearest him also asked me to rest..
he called EVERY 1/2Hr to check on me..
how sweet..AWW!!

so,
now juz chillin @ home..
i MISS HIM SO MUCH!
i keep thinking of him!
im trying hard to do stuff tht cn avoid thkg of him..

oklh..
till here yar?
wanna eat my dinner..
peace!

*Abg An i miss you so much!!!*

14 jan 09

2009-01-14T21:18:00.002+08:00

ahh..HIE?
amcm? ada baek?
aku? aku ok jer..hehe

neway kn kn kn,
i MISS DEAREST HYM ALOT!
he called me in the morning..
to give me a wake up call..tankiu!
den i msg hym lh kn..
"Morning!Thx 4 e wake up call yar?"
den he repli..
"Morning.No problem.i cant msg u nw.ltr mlm i call u."
so,i decided not to repli lh..
cos i knw he wud be too bz to even read.

k so so so,
today had english compo test..screw it man!
den,wen wanna go home,got phone call.
surprise2,Ahmad Rifky Irwan called.haiz..
he wanna meet..@ tmpt biase.
so i tuk bus 15 den reach my normal stop lh.
walked towards sungai api nye pondok.
den i saw him,smoking away.
i go to him,muker tk puas hati..as usual lor..
den we talk2.n he talk2 bout the past..F**K!
den i thk my tears flow..WTH!
i still frens with him lh,bt not so close liao!
so,he left ard 6pm..n i go sis house awhile.
juz dropped by to see some videos..

so,
nw me n rifky case close!
bt me n DEAREST HIM nw happy lh.
he sad cos nvr get to see me last wikend..
me oso lh boy! i miss you more..
i cancel our plans.i was wrg.i nw.
sorry yar boy!
cant wait till u book out!
n dun forget to call me tonight!!
2hrs to go till i here your sweet2 voice!

tc my policeman!
see you ard soon..
i miss you!

err

2009-01-12T21:02:00.003+08:00

okeyy..GO!

today was a super long day!!
finish schl @ 5.30pm.. [sian!]
had chem test n physics prac..[diaos]

anw,got my Malay o lvl result.. [pfft]
kinda ok,i wud say..
if u wanna knw wat i got,wait LONG2..
let u try to think so hard..
wait till i finish my o lvl this yer first..
den i tell u all my result..hw? fair kn? [ROFL]

so,i kept thinking of dearest him today. [diaos]
i guess i miss him SO MUCH!! [sobbs]
he has booked in camp n wil oni book out on friday..
dats so long!! [ahhh!!!]

btw,im wondering wats wrg with ppl now.
wats wrg if i ask "hws thgs?"
isnt it normal to ask a fren tht? [pfft!]
u shudnt repli "y so concern?" [WTF!]
if u'r against me being concern,id gladly leave u alone.
n u shud leave me alone too.thts wat ive been longing for. [damn it!]
den,thr's those hu neglect thier frens for othr stuff.
frens come first den ur freakin slenge boyfie. [sheesh!]
n u dun 4get ur old frens for the new ones. [WTF!]

i guess dearest him is ryt.. [*winks*]
we shud have group dates almost all the time. [nyahaha]
den thr's time for frens n boyfie at the same time.
n he's so concern bout me all the time.
always ask if i got probs,wen i sumtimes dont. [aww]
tho he teases me bout me still hvg to finish schl,
he supports me n encourage me to work hard. [wow!]
tht's a first from him.
i always thought he neglects education ALOT! [woah!]
bt i still HARTS him ALOT!

so,tmrw got ss test..
hvnt study! [panic!]
n im MISSING HIM SO DAMN MUCH!
cheers!

pecah perut

2009-01-10T21:41:00.003+08:00

yo!
today SUPPOSE to go survey poly..
den last min change plan r..
den he ask me go sentosa,bt i NOT free..
so sorry boy..
b..but..
he go botanic garden wif his fren..
i hope u enjoy ur trip thr..
sorry again boy for not accompanying you..
i really miss you tho..[sobbs]

anw,
went to E!hub with the baduts..
they wanna go watch movie..
n the best part is,they pay for me lh..
thx guys,so sweet of u 3..
SAYANG haidir,han&freddy...
we watch Ong Bak 2..NC16 bodoh!
bt i get to lepas bcos my bday cmg wat..
so all u ppl out thr..hehe
dun 4get my birthday ehh??
giv u 1 month advance reminder..aha..
so,overall show was GREAT!
utk sape2 yg kate tk phm tu kn,
phmkn je lh..aha..
i luv it! its a MUST watch!

kk..
now im so missing him..
cos tk dpt meet him..haiz..
if juz nw jadi go survey poly,
da dpt jumpe dia cos dia nk ikut.
bt den again,plans changed..
n his frens ajk go botanic gardens..
n yet again i miss the chance to tag along..
i MISS YOU!! i REALLY do!!
plss call me tonight k? like you promised..
peace!

impian ku lyric

2009-01-09T15:06:00.004+08:00

i wanna dedicate a song to dearest him..

my happy pill.my laughing gas.

ive nvr really told u how i feel out u.

u r always in my heart.now n forever.

my dearest policeman to be.LOL!

IMPIANKU-didicazli ft sleeq

Pernahkah terlintas di hati

Selama ini, ku selindung diri

Sebalik irama kasih

Alunan naluri ku

Di hadapan mu

Ku membisu mengubat rindu

Mungkin silap ku

Rahsiakan cinta

Di dalam sejuta

Ku temu, diri mu

Yang terindah impianku,

Namun lamunan ku

Yang terhenti

Bila ku menyedari ,

Hadirnya aku antara beribu.

Ku lukiskan niat hati

Bersama kekata madah ku ini

Ingin ku utuskan

Kepada mu, sayang

Tak ingin ku rahsia lagi

Kasih yang membara di hati

Walau lidah ku kelu

Ku nyatakan pada mu

Aku cinta kan mu

Di dalam sejuta

Ku temu, diri mu

Yang terindah impianku

Namun lamunanku

Yang terhenti

Bila ku menyedari

Hadirnya aku antara beribu.

[Aliff.]Sering aku hanya terpaku

Bila kamu dihadapan ku

Dan sering bayangan

Senyuman mu kan menjelma

Di dalam lena ku

Ternyata kamu lah terindah

Insan impianku

Ketahuilah, kasih, tiada siapa

Lagi di hatiku, di hatiku.

Di dalam sejuta

Ku temu, diri mu

Yang terindah impianku
Jika kau termampu

Terima ku

Akan ku abadikan

Sepenuh cinta ku

Menyayangi mu.

planning..

2009-01-06T19:57:00.002+08:00

okeyy..lyk hie!
ive many2 planning done for the yer.
for schl n for fitness.

so,schl...
ive put aside time for hwk n self revision.
1 hr each..
it'll be done at night b4 sleeping.
cos,nw in sec 4,everyday reach home late.
late as in 6 mayb?

den,fitness.
will have to do self training.
ALOT of running for stamina.
so i put aside 20mins @ 615pm everyday.
this is juz for running.
den aft tht is all the conditioning stuff.
skipping,gym work,short sprints.

n most prob will hv padding play too.
myt join kak juli n her lil club.
thier hvg training near my house(n her house).
its every wednesdays n thursdays.
the best part is..
she lives juz opposite my house!
nice! bt den zee will hv a spy on me.hmph!

okie dokes.
till here..
peace!

SAYANG!

2009-01-04T13:22:00.002+08:00

elo ALL!
hws ur 2009 so far?
hating it or liking it?
well,im def hating it! ahakz!
its my Fckg crucial yer.hu likes it??

bt bt bt,i LOVE the ppl..haha..
im LOVING my darlings even more this yer.
i SO love kak julisane,bro zee's GF.
its so easy to talk to her..heh
tho she calls me a cutey,i cant wait to chil wif her.

and and and,
ive got new place to train.WHOOTS!
summore no nid to travel far.
juz walk 2 mins to multi purpose hall nex to my blk.
hw? GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD ryt?
with kak julisane,her bro,bro zee, n 2 other dudes.LOL!
they train diff martial arts.
COOL ryt?!
they form a mini club..
n was wondering if i was interestded to join.
OFCOS i was!

ouh ouh ouh,
i met this super cute guy at work.
he juz strted there.
his name was khairul.
he's 18 this yer..
he had to work night shift yesterday.LOL.
since his shift strts at 12.30AM!,he sent me home.
he offered to.WOW! so sweet.haha

oklh..
till here.
bye!

SYG my BADUTS!

2009-01-03T15:13:00.002+08:00

INGGEBA!! haha..

my 3 baduts fav line now!

anw,went to far east plaza juz nw..

met the baduts @ tamp int..

they were earlier than me.

FIRST TIME SEYY!!

all of us were wearing pink tee..haha

took a cab to far east plaza..

freakie paid for it..Tankiu!

walk2 ard the place to find the perfect shop.

walk ard the place like 4 times! siao!!

finally stop at this shop.[4got the name!]

we buy like 3 shirts EACH! n 2 pants EACH!

n i bought a nice dress.they choose it for me.

total expenditure there,$97.50..WOW!

dcided to walk2 again.

den stomach make so much noise.haha.

so we went to plaza singapura.

took a cab there.jackass paid for it this time.

ate @ pizza hut like some JAKUN ppl!

aft eating dcided to walk2 at Plaza Sing.

den shop summore! haha..

jackass wanted us to buy the same tee..

we did..LOL!

we bought a Green Tee..

on the tee,it says "IDIOTS-on the left."

baskett sia!

we left aft some site seeing @ CT hall..

i had to go to work..

afternoon shift sia! damn it!

so nw,suffering @ work! dioas!

peace!

stupid day!

2009-01-02T21:08:00.002+08:00

okeyy..err..HIE!
so,today was e first day of schl.. [pfft!]
was damn frekin boring sia!
got admin and many2 talk..
bout O lvls dn sewaktu dgnnye.. [yawn!]

anw,
2mrw planned to go to sentosa with Abg An.
bt bt bt,he got sumtin on last min. [sobb]
nemind,i oso got other plan. [LOL]
im going 2 meet the baduts @ town.
gonna check out some shops.
i bet we're gonna have a shopping spree.WEE!!

btw,
gotta rush tru my holiday hwk too.. [pfft!]
damn sian of it sia..
bt for O lvls sake wat..
n new year's resolution-do all given hwk.DAMN!
im NOT a goody 2 shoes! [bluekz]
bt i will work hard to get gd results for O lvls. [0.o]

well,yea.
wanna catch some sleep now.haha
Abg An,i miss u! haha [ROFL!]
wonder wen im going out wif him again?
gonna bz wif schl frm nw on.. [pfft!]
till here r.

"You are my happy pill and laughing gas!"

Super 2009!

2009-01-01T18:44:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 2009!!
so did u guys hv fun celebrating the last night of 2008?
i sure did!

so,
yesterday @ 6pm..
left home for downtown east.
collect goodie bags and meet some frens.
met the baduts there with their buddies.
they were all SUPER frenly..
downtown east celebration was so damn boring.
the police also kinda spoil the fun.
many teens got fine for smoking at non-smoking area.
like WAT THE HELL RYT??
most of them left bcos of tht..baek!

ard 8 like tht lh kn..
i left downtown east for clarke quay.
with the baduts,we took cab.
funny thg was,thr ws no jam.
i thk cos it was still early..
so we went to The Arena.
as usual,i got in without getting caught.haha
cos i got some members thr,like my bro.
party had already strtd thr..
had fun with the baduts and my other frens.
we shud do this more often huh guys?

so @ 10pm,
we left the place for esplanade.
thr,more of my frens were thr.
we saw alot of BUDAK BARU NAEK..
sumer baru adek2 je lh seyy..STEP!
i heard one of them telling his fren,
"ehk,kul 11 aku da kene sampai ruma."
MAMPOS! gitu nk gelar mat? tk dpt lh!
kul 11 blom sempat nk countdown sia! pantat dia!
we managed to get a SUPER gd view of the fireworks.
kecoh seyy sumer!

left the place ard 1245 for home.
took cab lh kn..
so reached home at about 2 am..
the best night of 2008!
peace!
HAPPY 2009!

new year's eve!

2008-12-31T15:10:00.004+08:00

waddup yaww!
today is New Year's Eve.
I can't wait to PARTY tonight at downtown.
but sadly,he won't be around..
only my three baduts-Cutey,Freakie & Jackass.

anw,
im gonna head down to downtown east at ard 7.
meet up with the others than collect goodie bag..
ouh GOODY! haha. LAME! i know.
i wonder wats the theme for this year's countdown.
im involved for this event bt ive got no clue.
its cos i havent been attendng meetings.LOL!
Typical me,ryt?
well,thts the plan for tonight.

so,
2mrw plan to meet HIM!
actuali NDP ppl wanna go out or sumtin.
they plan to go bowling than go to marina.
bt i most prob cn go bowling only.
cos im meeting my dearest HIM at ECP.
and tht's whr we're gonna bowl.
i cant wait to meet dearest HIM 2mrw.haha
i have a feeling they've got somethg planned out..
bout getting me n raihaan..
juz to let u knw,im not gonna fall for it.haha
i myt juz turn it against u.
mayb by asking dearest HIM to tag along to bowl.haha

ouhyea.
i did a lil quiz bout myself.
interesting? YEA! n TRUE![most of it]
u shud try it @ http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

so,yea.
peace!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
esp to my dearest HIM,dearest abg fauzee n 2gether_4evaku!

i miss hym already!

2008-12-30T21:01:00.004+08:00

okeyy!
my life has been great lately..
except for the fact that SCHOOL is gonna resume soon.
come to think of it,im kinda excited.LOL!
i wonder why...

anyway,
for the past few days,after the lunch @ seoul gardens,
ive been messaging my dearest FARHAN ALOT!
FYI,day after the lunch,
he was admitted to the hospital @ ard 11PM.
He was booking in into camp when he was sent there.
His eyes was swollen but he was not warded.
He was just given MC.
Today he had to book in bcos he has recovered.
But the funny thing is,tommorow he can book out already.
He wanted me to join him @ Esplanade for the New Year's countdown.
But I already planned to go to downtown for the countdown.

So,
you must be wondering what i have been msg-ing him ryt?
well,juz asking hw he was doin?
and did a lil planning for our next outing together.
we're planning to go to Sentosa to take pictures.
hope the plan goes well.
i cant wait to see him again,cos i miss him!

MY SUPER CUTE BOTAK!!
My Happy Pill,My Laughing Gas!
My Smiles,My Tears,
MY EVERYTHING IN LIFE!
i miss you!

ENJOYZ!!!

2008-12-27T20:12:00.003+08:00

today i so damn happy!!
cos i get to see my abg kesygn..hehe
n go out with 2gether_4eva ku..
bt...i had to blanje them..haha
i brought them to eat at seoul gardens,bugis..

1st,aku mit amah kt pasir ris mrt.
den janji dgn abg An kt bugis.
ktrg igt da lmbt bt bt bt..
dpt tahu yg abg An aru nk kluar dari uma.
da lh dia tinggal kt wdlnds..
dia da naek mrt,den dia trn yishun n amek cab.
punye lah kekek si dia tu.

biler da sampai kt bugis,
me n amah jln2 dulu.
den ktrg 2nggu abg An kt dpn topshop.
nk tahu ape aku nye first impressoin biler nmpk abg An?
"serious pe,tu dia?muker dia cute lh seyy!"
mklum lh,abg aku tu kn da botak.lol
den ktrg gi seoul gardens lh kn.

sampai je,amah serbu udang.
abg aku tu plak mcm malu2 kucing.haha
aku amek bermcm2 daging n ikan..
abg An amek daging,ayam n hotdog.
dia masak byk2 den sparuh kasi aku.
dia mcm bisu g2.haha
da puas mkn tu sumer,
me n amah mkn spaghetti.YUM!
den me n abg An mkn jelly dgn ice cream.

first,aku yg diri,nk gi amek mkn.
aku tinggalkn abg aku tu dgn amah.
den dia pon diri,ikut aku gi survey mkn.
dia suker membuntot org lh..haha
dia suker nah kacau org..FUN!

biler sumer da kenyang,ktrg pon belah lh.
ktrg jln gi esplanade nye underground.
kt sane ktrg nmpk org maen inline skate.
aku n abg aku kutuk habes2 seyy..haha
like abg like adek..haha
last2,ktrg knl bdk2 tu sumer.lol
drg srh ktrg join.
ktrg pinjam skate drg.
sugguh tk selesa!!! da la dlm panas!
time aku ngh skate jap,amah pon belah.
tinggal aku dgn abgku tu..
abgku tu pelik tapi fun n best leapk dgn dia.
biler masa nye sampai,aku pon belah.
ang aku pulak gi jumpe sape enth.lol

biler ku da otw nk alek,
abg aku msg ku..
"hey thanks 4 e lunch just
nw.sorie if i was quiet.sore
throat r."
tkpe lh abgku..
adek phm..gonna mis u!

so,
nnt ku free2 kn kn kn..
ku post gmbr yer?
peace!

Party!!

2008-12-24T18:43:00.002+08:00

ouhkayy ppl..
waddup yaww?!
its 24th dec..
christmas eve lh siolz!

anw,
the band had a gig on monday(23rd dec)..
kt tmpt biase lh..
great crowd! nice christmas theme by the manager..
crowd was dressed in RED bebeh! nice!
the pics are in Danny's friendster account.
i lazy to upload uh.sorie guys.
aft our christmas concert,there was a christmas party.wat else??
free flow of drinks[non-alchoholic..i knw..lame!]..
but the party was great..
strted off with reggae music then it was off to trance n techno..
party ended at 2am..the fans enjoyed it!

so,
today's christmas eve..
going for dinner at some restaurant with deary Haidir and his frens..
i invited my cutey,freakie and jackass to tag along..
must nvr forget them u knw!
cos they're my bestest guy frens!

den,
dis sat gonna eat at seoul gardens..
with sa'amah and maybe my abg farhan..
im treating them to this lunch..aww..
ive put aside money for this thgy..
so i wudnt spend the money on othr stuff..lol

so,
nw im all dressed up and waiting 4 haidir to fetch me..
its raining over at my area..gosh!
lucky for me he is driving..whoots!
gonna mit bro at the arena(club) first..
wanna drop off his christmas present tht i got for him..
i bought him a packege gift..
*tshirt,jeans,a pair of Vans sneakers and a boxers..
the boxers is kinda cute u knw..
its pink..whawhawha..n his name specially printed on it..
hope he likes it..LOL!

till here!
peace!

p/s:i miss you.

2008-12-17T19:08:00.004+08:00

i dunno whether i can wait that long.

for such a long time without your jokes.

life is nothing without you around.

you keep me smiling when im down.

i wonder if you would ever reply,

to all those messegers i intend to send.

im still counting down to the days,

where we would chat again and let it all out.

you are my life,my inspiration.

i look up to you for strength in life.

i adore you.i admire you.i respect you.

My Dearest Brother,I MISS YOU!

make me smile!

2008-12-16T22:39:00.003+08:00

its always him!

the one and ONLY him!

never fail to make me smile.

he picks me up wen i fall.

cheer me up wen im down.

he'll never leave till he's sure im OK.

tht cute smile he always have on his face,

never fail to melt my heart..

i thk i myt have fallen for you..

or issit juz another CRUSH?

missed sumtin out!

2008-12-13T19:36:00.002+08:00

alamak!!
i missed sumtin out..
this wan MUST post!
cos GUARANTEE cutey JEALOUS!

so..
i was otw home from werk lh kn..
i took bus 15 home from Parkway..
i merayap awhile..for lunch je..
anw,bck to topic..
i was standing nex to this cute+hot guy at the busstop..
and he was smiling none stop sia!
den his fren came..
a girl..a chinese girl..
i thk her name was Lily or sumtin like tht..
i overheard him calling her lh..

this was the conversation b4 we got up the bus..
lily:ehh,wat u smilin bout?
the guy:nutin..y so kpo leh?
lily:haiya..y u smilin like tht?
the guy:u see tht girl?
lily:yar.y?falling for her huh?
the guy:yupp.bt..
lily:bt wat?paiseyy issit?jus ask for her number already lh!
the guy:u thk so easy issit?
lily:wateva lh..

few mins aft the conversation,the bus came..
the bus was empty cos EVRI1 got off..
oni me,the guy and lily went on..
i sat way behind..
and immediately pluck in my MP3..
they were sitting on the other end of the bck row..
he kept glancing towards me..^^
finally,he sat nex to me..
i guess lily convinced him to..
so he tapped my shoulders like 5 times lh..
cos i ignored him the first 4 times..haha
n he was smilin again..
den lily shouted or more like blurted out..
lily: hey! he wants your number and wants to get to know you.
n i was like..."okeyy..."in a super undecicieve way..

in the end,he did get my number..
or rather,i gave it to the girl..
cos she decided to do all the talking for him..haha
and he msged me wen i dropped @ tamp library..
"hey!baek2 jln k?nice to meet u! :)"
cool!!
i bet cutey is SUPERDUPER JEALOUS NOW!!
blueakz!!
if u cn rub about ur hot girl into my face..
y cant i?
like u said..
"were just frens.ske hati ktrg lh."
peace!

plans tunggang tebalik!!!

2008-12-13T18:44:00.004+08:00

okeyy HIE!!!
nari aku sungguh the random..lol
kerane aku mendak!

first kn kn kn..
aku kene werk uh..
sat pg plak tu! haiz..
kene gi punggol park ajar..
mendak seyy tmpt tu!! BORING giler!!
abeh aku nmpk satu abg tu tgh pancing..
aku dabes ajar,dia pon habes pancing lh kn..
tapi tapi tapi..
DIA TK TGKP SATU IKAN PON!!! HAHA!!

den den den..
aku actuali ade silat camp..
drg plan nk cycle dari pasir ris gi east coast.
bbq kt east coast den cycle alek gi pasir ris..
memenatkan kn? kn? kn?
so,aku sungguh the malas nk ikut..
da lh aku keje tht day..
PENAT OI!! sape yg larat??
njoy lh ehh krg?
btw,abg still owe aku $16 utk bbq pit yg aku tk pakai..
BBBBAAAAGGGGUUUUSSSS!!!!

so so so..
skg aku tgh blog..
time nye ialah 6.48pm..
fam aku ade kenduri arwah kt uma nenek ku..
lps maghrib lh kn..
den lps tu,aku de janji dgn Han n kwn2 nye..
ktrg nk klaur mlm ni..whoots!
plan nk gi ZoukOut..tapi mcm phm..haha
Han da beli tiket nye..aku tinggal nk seludup masuk je..
tapi aku n kwn2 Han ade plan laen..
kte nk lepak kt town je..
ade gig kt sane..lagi best..
tkya ssh pyh aku seludup..lol
maklumlh,aku kn underage..haiz..
tunggu lg 3 tahun lh yer krg?
aku pon stress tk dpt gi..
tkpe lh..ktrg gi enjoy style sniri pon best per..
jadi,ape lagi Han??
jual je lh tiket u tu kt kwn u..
jual mahal skt uh..kate special pe..
last min sale of tix..
cmfrm byk yg despo nk beli tix tu..

ok..ok..ok..
aku da tkde idea lg ni..
so aku nk chiow lh..
nnt ku free ku update agi k?
aku sebenarnye byk story baek punye!!
cumer tk tahu mane nk strt uh beb!
PEACE!!! ADIOS!!

doaku buat yg disygi

2008-12-09T11:34:00.002+08:00

thn ni,aku spend Hari Raya Haji tanpa seseorang..
klau ade bace post seblom ni,krg akn tahu yg pakcik aku aru je meninggal..
sumer tkde mood nk beraya..
tapi kehadiran sanak saudara membuat suasana lebih meriah..
semuer bwk kuih-muih dan lauk-pauk..

tgh hari,ktrg sumer lepak je kt umh nenek aku..
dlm kul 2 g2 aru nk strt masak utk kenduri..
krg nk tahu tk??
aku dgn mkck aku borong 8 ekor ayam kt Cold storage..haha
ni last min shopping uh..
psl hari seblom ni ktrg bz dgn kematian pakcik aku tu..
den biler da maghrib,sumer mkck n pkck ku dtg..
ktrg pon strt the kenduri lh..
sumer gembira dpt tahu yg pada hari raya haji ni,roh pkck aku yg da meninggal tu sedang menunaikan ibadah haji..Syukur Alhamdullilah..

so..
nari kn hari tuesday..9 Dec 2008...
abg angkat aku,Farhan,da masuk NS..
aku akn rindu dia..
tapi aku hrp dia dpt jage diri dan enjoy lh..
aku pon hrp dia tkkn buat hal kt dlm camp..
ni msg yg dia anta aku @ 5.44am...
"Adik ku! da tido eh.just wana say that il be going 4 my ns in 7HRS time.w0nt be able to chat with u ready and sorie we didnt get to meet up.i been very bz with work lately...so yeah do take care of urself k.antg just text me and il reply when ican.gona miss u adik ku!"
ni exactly mcm mane dia anta aku..
he's so sweet..
"adik doakn keselamatan abg semasa menjalankn NS.."

okie dokes..
peace!

getting over it

2008-12-08T13:28:00.002+08:00

hey ppl..
ive recently lost my closest uncle..
he's only 38..
he's one of the closest relative..
he has pampered me since i was young..
now i dont have any1 to turn to and joke around..
no one can evr replace him..

wen i heard the news about him being admitted to the hospital on sat evening,it didnt struck me that it was gonna be that bad.i tot tht it cud juz have been a minor accident,bt i was wrg.i heard he had passed away after a soccer game at bedok reservoir.i cudnt accept the fact tht he's gone,at first.however,i learnt to accept it,knowing he has gone happily without any sufferings.i know he would still overlook me and the rest of us even though he may not be around anymore.i miss him so much!!to add to it,i havent been feeling myself before his death.i had been stone-ing away for quite some time and felt like somethg was gonna happen.i nvr tot tht it wud be his death.

on the day tht he was gonna be burried,all his frens came.it was great to see all of them,helping to ensure tht the whole process ran smoothly.they even escorted his body to the cemetery,for the last time.if he hadnt pass away,his frens wud had have the chance to escort him during his wedding ceremony tht they had longed for.evri1 was sad and shocked over his death,but we are also happy to know that he died in a happy mood.

im taking this incident as a step towards my efforts in life-my goals and dreams.i will make his departure my will to succeed.and i will always remember all tht he has done for me and how he pampered me.i was looking forward to spending hari raya haji with him,like we always had the previous years.even though he may have gone,he wud still be in my heart.

i have learnt tht a sacrifice wud in turn bring us the power to strive on and insaf.
i will always remember him.

okie dokes..
till here..

Its killing me!

2008-12-03T21:47:00.001+08:00

An angle in disguise, i can see in your eyes
I know that you are mine, it's just so hard to deny
The moment that we shared, was the best things that i had
A shining star that i see, it was always there for me..
You taught me how to fly, the meaning of my true life
And then you taught me on how to survive
You taught me how to be, for me to set me free
And i am nothing when you're not with me
Even though you're far away, my love for you will never fade
You're always on my mind, and your the girl that i must find,
The sweetness in your smile, that makes my mind go wild
The love is not crime, we can never say goodbye
You are the one, who's always by my side
You're there everything, making my alright,
And it's you who gives me all these memories
You are all that matter to me..

Pics in Sumatra!

2008-12-03T12:14:00.007+08:00

the TKsians

Us and some1's bike

Trying out the Land Boarding

Camera Women

Us-checking out the sunset

me and the sunset

Me and the beautiful panorama

Me and a super cute performer

beautiful panorama

The view all around Sumatra

SUMATRA!!!

2008-12-03T11:34:00.002+08:00

hey peeps..
sorie for not updating my blog recently..
anw,i juz got bck from sumatra,yesterday.
it was an amazing trip there..
im already missing the place..

First day in sumatra,many activities were carried out and they were an eye opener.they made me realise the unique-ness of sumatra.the atmosphere and and the panorama was so awesome.the food was also damn nice. we were brought to a restaurant call Lamun Ombak where Nasi Padang was served.They laid out the dishes infront of us and only count the cost of the meal by the dishes that we take.It was very cheap.it cost us(8 of us) only S$3 each! amazing!that was our breakfast.
After the breakfast,we went site seeing.they included the museum,Jambatan Siti Nurbaya,Pandai Sikek(a place where they make kain),and a wood carving area.On the way to these places,we saw a waterfall and the indain ocean.cool,huh?!
However besides those places,the most awesome experience for tht day was being at Bukit tinggi where it is located 800m above sea level and have a low temperature,as if we were in a europian country.
We slept in a hotel tht could be a rated a Five-Star hotel.It was so grand and it made us feel as though we were high classed people.In fact,being in Indonesia made us feel loaded with money.Me and my roommate,Nazurah,got a room that has a beautiful view of the place.We also tried the room service of tht hotel by ordering Fish and Chips for supper.It was great!

On the second day,it started of with a marvelous breakfast at our hotel.Buffet!!! the food taste so good! we then left the hotel for more site seeing and shopping. We went to Lubang Jepang,also known as Japanese Hole. Did you know,the buildings on Bukit Tinggi CANNOT exceed 5 stories high as about 75% of the place have Lubang Jepang under them? how cool is tht?? the view there was so nice.it got me a lil speechless when we were there. after seeing the panorama there,we headed for Pasar Atas for shopping.It was like the indonesian version of Petaling Street in KL.there were so many shops and things that got my attention.it was hard to decided what i should get. Me and Nazurah walked around the place for 3 rounds before we decided on what to buy. It was so much fun spending our money there. I felt i was so RICH!! XD after shopping,we had to get bck to our hotel as we had to check out and leave for our next destination and a resort.tht night,we slept ina resort call Nuansa resort. We met a few lil kids outside the resort,where they taugt us to play 'Land Boarding'.it was just using a plank of wood and sliding yourself with it down a slope.it was FUN,indeed.we had so much fun playing with the kids.we then got a chance to catch the sunset.it was damn beautiful.the night got chiller as we made our way back into the resort for dinner.

on third day,we had a breakfast at the resort before we checked out and headed for a school for a visit. We were welcomed by a perform when we reached the school. the students were 16yr olds.they were so happy to see us.we too were delighted to be there.we were entertained by performances tht were prepared by them.we made new friends and exchanged contacts to keep in touch.after the visit,we headed for a restaurant for lunch.like any other meal,we had Nasi Padang for lunch.after lunch,we headed for our next hotel,which was Ambacang hotel.On the way to the Hotel,we stopped at a waterfall.the water was so cold.we didnt get a chance to dive but we managed to take a dip with our hands.it was an amazing experience! upon reaching the hotel,we were greeted with a bell boy,and some waitresses served us a drink each.i could figure out what drink it was,but it was a fruit drink i guess.the hotel was also as grand as the first one.we checked on immediately as we were eager to go to swensens which was located next to our hotel.all the TKsians,except 2,were treated to ice cream by our teacher.the ice cream there was lil different but great.we then left with the other school for our very last dinner in sumatra.after dinner,me and nazurah went to KFC ,which was next to Swensens,and grabbed some chicken,fries and a drink each.we took them bck to our hotel for supper.we catched a few Indonesian drama in the hotel while indulging in our chicken and a cup noodle.

on our very last day there,we had to wake up very early,at about 5am,as we had to have breakfast at 530am. it was that early as we have to head for the airport by 730am.the journey from our hotel to the airport is about an hour.we left after rushing through our breakfast.we had so much fun and memories in Sumatra.Hope we could return there again soon!

okies..
that was a summaries view of my trip there..
i will post some nice pictures soon aites..
till here..
peace!

Busy Oi!!!

2008-11-27T20:35:00.003+08:00

elo ppl!
sowie long tym no update..
me vewie bz uh..urgh!!!
got many2 thgs to do and go..

anw,was working tru the whole of last wik..
whch also means alot of tym spent skating..cool,no?
met quite a few new ppl..
lyk desmond,alvin and shadow..
pretty cool and vewie frenly ppl..
its kinda tiring,esp if u got bck to bck classes..woah!
i xperienced tht liao..haahaa..
indeed vewie tiring..
den den den ryt..i also sell three skates..
COMMISSION bebeh!

okokok...beside work...
thr's trg too..silat and all style..
aftnn,ard 4 lyk tht lh,i leave werk for all style trg..
all the way at wdlds sia! yea..
bt i usual turn up late..
got xcuse mah..werk..hehe
aft tht trg,den head for silat trg..(if got any lh)
if not,head to kak jaja house with the monyets..
evriday they'll be thr doin many2 stuff lh..haha

so so so..i wanna tell my readers lh..
this sat-tues(29nov-2dec)..
im gg to sumatra bebeh!!
cannot wait uh!! hehe
BUT BUT BUT i havent strt packing diaos..how???

den den den...ive been smiling alot these few wiks..
thx to my dearest han cutey..
juz fer the records,were NOT 2gether..
bt were damn close lh..bestfrens actuali..
i declined him once and he's ok with juz being frens..
we hangout alot with his frens..
their all jokers..haha
akid,tania,kai,audi,ferrari,kilat,yida,ida,mantok,hunny..
YES! thay all have funny nick names..khakhakha..

okie dokes..
till here for now k?
will update again wen im bck frm sumatra..
peace!

SHAGGED!!

2008-11-18T19:22:00.002+08:00

elo ppl..
im VERY shagged!!
working..training..

ive a regular schedule for work..
which is kinda unusual..haha
usually we'll be rotated to different schools..
but this week got lessons @ JunYuan Primary..
for the whole week summore!!
get to spend the whole time with my brother..
im so glad to see him for this holidays..
he dyed bck his hair to black..
and still have the sleepy eyes..
what not?always go clubbing and forever coming home late..
well,thats my brother.i love him for who he is.

den there is training..haiz..
this leaders' circle thingy is really..USELESS!!
i mean why have it when newbies are in it?
they barely know how to kick the right way..
dun wanna talk bout it animore..

anw,today went to JunYuan..
with zee,sam and warren..
damn shagged lah..
sat in the front with zee and sam bck to shop..
then had to do shop maintainance..
Thomas's idea..
we sweep,pack,sort and wash!
kinda tiring for us all..hmmmm...
me and zee stuck to each other the whole time..
did almost evritin together..cool! hehe
both of us were veri sleepy..haha
while packing,we almost doze off..khakhakha..
den we went to buy redbull to kip us awake..

so yeah..
tht was my tiring day..lawl!
peace!

BUSY!!!

2008-11-13T14:18:00.003+08:00

okeyy..
aku sebenarnye malas..
tapi da lamer kn tk update..
cian lah my readers..haha

this holiday,aku btol nye bz seyy..
silat laen,werk pon laen..

skg silat,aku n amah da de glgg baru..
sengkang cc lh seyy..
tapi tu lom cmfrm uh..
tapi kn,glgg kte sniri tk bukak2..haha..
stress ngn bdk2 nye luhh..
da lh 3 bdk da transfer kn..yg laen mcm tkde smgt..
ape nk buat?? aslkn dpt gaji sudah..
tapi tu pon evri 3 mths aru dpt..
sial kn?? OTAK drg lh!

den werk plak,byk lessons gak uh..
kate holiday kn? hmmm...
saturday pon aku kene keje..
tapi pagi je..
saturday,aku tk dpt jumpe abg aku tu..
psl dier tk pernah keje hari minggu..
klau ade pon,MIRACLE UH!!

abg An ade offer aku keje dgn company dia..
tapi aku tknk lh..
mampos klau boss aku tahu..
tapi aku ade jgak nk terima tawaran dia tu..
cumer rase berslh je..
skg aku werk pon gaji baek nye!
1 bulan bleh masuk $500++...WOW!!
tapi kene tgk clas n lesson yg aku amek..
klau tk pon,assist the seniors je..

okey lh..
till here..
nnt klau aku tk mls,aku update agi lh..
peace!

crappy days

2008-11-06T13:23:00.003+08:00

okeyy..
so,HIE to all my loveable readers..
can any of you define the word crap?
let me help u gys wif tht..
C-R-A-P: boring,iritating,frustrating,nonsense
lawl!

anw,today is officially the last of schl..
i mean,for sec threes i guess..
however,i didnt go to school..
i bet u r all ready guessing tht i just wanted to pawn..
actuali,i did want to pawn school.
but changed my mind..
i wanted to make my last day a sec three student wonderful..

however(again),i DIDNT go to school..
all thx to the 38.6 degree of my body temp..
i had already shower n dressed for schl..
and fever n headache just had to struck me..
i guess cos the weather hasnt been nice lately..
so,now im stuck at home..
n my temp hasnt drop abit..
in fact,it kinda rose by 0.1degree..

im kinda bored at home...
so decided to ring rifky for awhile..
we talked over the phone on how i cud get some entertainment..
then i decided tht he'd come over..
dun get it wrg tho..my bro is cmg home soon..
n we'll be watching DVDs soon..(in 1hrs time)

okeyy..
so,ive been NOT updating my blog frequently..
ive got this "im kinda lazy to even entertain myself" attitude lately..
im so damn tired theses few days..
well,been sleeping damn late n waking up damn early..
thx to the freakin schl for having us bck durin the hols..
anw,gonna strt werk soon..whoots!!
n 2mrw gonna go padang for some healthy lifestyle event..
going with amah,sha,naz,wanie,naz's new bf(nigel)..haha..
tk pntg kn?..bt im bored..so deal with it..hehe

okie dokes..
expecting bro to be home soon..
n rifky to be cmg over soon..
peace!

just bored..i guess..;)

2008-11-02T18:55:00.002+08:00

ouhkayy..HIE!
havent been actively updating..
kinda lazy..haha..

anw,ive been kippin track of my brothers lately..
i meant contacting them n seeing them..

last friday,spend the whole day msg-ing bro Farhan..
he annoys me,bt yet entertains me..
watever words he let out,will surely hit sum1 write in the guts..
bt still,it was juz a joke..
he's the kind hu jokes ard,bt sum ppl myt take it too seriously..
he's bz wif work this few days..
coming home late n all..bt the pay counts ryt?haha
well,xpected him not to repli most of my msges..
bt he did..sarcastically replying my msges..

then yesterday(saturday),
met my other bro..abg zali..
well,its cos there ws trg..haha..
bt,the team werent down for trg tht day..
we had CIP project at Darul Takrim..
its a home for the elders..
they had Perjumpaan Hari Raya..
it was kinda cool to interact with them..touching i guess..
they seem SUPER lonely there..very quiet..
i beacame like a waitress there..
serving them food n drinks..
my food which i took for myself,ended up bein eaten by them..
i was kinda surprise at first,bt i let it go..
watever ive done tht day sure was GOOD!
i tot to myself,"SYA DID SOMETHING GOOD TODAY!"..
i dun usually do those stuff..haha..juz bein me the better side of me..
bro was bein so..so..brotherly like the whole day..
i mean,we almost hd a misunderstanding b4..n he ws kinda of avoiding me..
or rather,i was avoiding him..haha
do you know,it was 4 mths tht he didnt call me adik..
only until recently..cos he finally confessed tht he kinda disapproved of me participating in NDP..hmm..
guess he misses me huh? hehe..

today,met the MONYETS! at downtown..
for like 3 hrs..talking nonsense and stuff..
99% of them turned up for our "once in a blue moon" meeting..
yeah! ONCE IN A BLUE MOON! haha
were alwayz so bz..schl,werk n LIFE!
let me name the peeps..
MONYETS! : Khai,Fik,Freddy,Junnie,Allya,ME!,Ikin,Firzan,Farzan,Malik,Idha,Kimi,Dee,Jaja,Leha,Hieria,Hakim
Dani didnt turn up cos his cuzzen kawen..
we were chillin at macs..den headed for Pasir Ris Park..
as usual,all were talking crap for the first hour..
den it came down to serious business..
we talked bout our BBQ and gathering the ECP n sentosa..
budget wasnt a prob..
evri single one of our parents are helping with food..
we juz had to pay for the location n stuff..
logistics,if thts wat u thk..yea..

well,thts kinda all tht i wanna share..
2mrw will be the strt of the final wik of trancated..
cant wait for it to end!! gosh,it sux!
nex wik will strt werk,n strt spending tym wif bro zee..
cant possibly spend my holidays all on schl..NO WAY!
werk! pay! enjoy! chill! lepak with buddies!
till here..
peace!

Life's Good..LG!

2008-10-28T20:28:00.002+08:00

heys..waddup yawr!!
has life been great?
well,mine has been fabulous!!
except for school!! trancated lessons damn suckie!

anw,thgs btwn me n rifky has been great..
he still has got his ego,bt he's ok for now..
trying hard not to make the same mistakes,i guess..
he's constantly making sure im ok wif the way he is..
n i am.im so glad he's decided to change for the better..
no more 'MAT TK MENJADI'..
no more 'I WANT IT ALL MY WAY'..
he seeks for my opinion too..sometimes..
but,he still spends alot on clothes..lol..

so..
apart from him,my other side of life has also been great..
gonna have malay o lvls soon..(5th Nov 2008)
kinda prepared for it..not so nervous..hehe
aft trancated lessons,gonna start werk with SI again..
i cant wait for the fun im gonna hv @ werk..
wats better than werking while enjoying it??
but the most importatnt thg is................
im gonna have a chance see my bro again!!
aft so long,im finally gonna have time to spend with him..
i miss my abg fauzee so much..haha
bt,he's been checking up on me..
ensuring tht im not doin anitin stupid in life..LOL!
and he goes on repeating stuff like,"dont be like me.lead a better life."
well,gotta respect his words lah..
he's got a point there ya'know..thts wat brothers do..haha

hmm..
another thg tht i wanna share is..
my other bro is going off for NS dis december..
he is SO unprepared for it..
but he has cut his hair alreadi..haha..BOTAK!!!
im goona treat him n abg zee to the movies soon..
b4 abg farhan goes off for NS lah..
looking forward to it..hehe..

okie dokes..
till here..
will update again soon..

PS: Hapie blated Deepavali!!

settling things...

2008-10-22T18:45:00.002+08:00

well,on 21st oct,met rifky..
aft a few days of cold war!
he msged n called me the day b4..
saying,"i thk we shud meet sn.settle thgs."
so,i agreed...

the day i wanted to go mit him..
he msged me,sayin,"im bringing farah along so u guys can talk"
i was furious at first..
bt decided to get fendi to tag along..
fendi didnt like the idea...
he was afraid a war wud strt..LOLS!

met rifky n farah at the usual place..@ 6pm..
i gave the "i hate you,but i miss you" kinda look..
he was straing at fendi wen i interupted..
"lets juz get this done n over wif."
so,rifky pulled fendi aside n left me wif farah..
they talked n we talked too..
i gave her a lil silent treatment for awhile..
but then,i juz suddenly blurted out stuff..
b4 we know it,its been an hr..
we were listening intently to each othr..
n soon thgs were OK!

fendi n rifky were also OK wif each othr..
all smiled,and laughed for no reason..amused?nt realli..
n i was bck like normal wif rifky..
farah left aft tht..she hd to mit her new bf..
fendi decided to leave wif rifky to settle our bit..

rifky was all apologetic n lil mushy..
he cud say sorie lyk a million time until i accepted it..
i cud see the really sorie face of his..
eventually i did..haha..aft some thking..
he kinda froze wen i said i accepted his apology..
i admitted to him tht i missed him durin the days we didnt cntct..
he too admitted..huhu..
he almost cried sia! bt his ego juz took over..
n he acted all manly n stuff...haha...wateva lh boy!

okie dokes..
till here..
chiaows!

Tracking back my life..

2008-10-22T18:30:00.002+08:00

okies..
havnt been actively writing crap here..haha
well,was kinda in a no mood n juz plain BZ!
lets strt shall we..
i mean,tracking back what has happen aft the last post..

17 oct 2008..
was the 3rd day i didnt cntct rifky..
ntg interesting happened apart frm tht..

18 oct 2008..
4th day tht i didnt cntct him..lol...
kak supi tunang..congrats!!!
luv the tiramisu thgy tht was served..hehe

19 oct 2008..
5th day and still counting!!! (was)
went jln raye wif silat peeps..
went to bout 17 houses in 1 day..
we rent a bus to take us to our destinations...
had a fun day..
which ended at ard 12.30am!!! wow!
n had too much to eat tht day...LOLS!

20 oct 2008...
6th day and still counting!!(was)
went to schl wif a sleepy face...as usual lh..
ntg interesting happened at schl...
went to marine parade library aft schl..
borrowed 2 interesting books...
read both books in 2 days..cool huh?
rifky call tht evening..
wanting to see me..to talk..(will elaborate in the nex post aites..)

21 oct 2008..
tuesdays SUX!!!
was slacking in schl...PRACTICALLY!!!
met rifky at ard 6pm at the usual place..
he was wif his ex,farah..
n i was wif fendi,my best buddy..
will fill in the details in the nex post..

22 oct 2008...TODAY! DUH-UH!
had some talk in the audi in schl..
den left for some learning journey thgy..
we went to Mint Museum Of Toys...
it was damn cool!
all the vintage toys were displayed there...

so,yea..
thts was it...
WAIT!!!
my schedule for the wiks to come:
trancated lessons till 7 nov..SUX!!!
a silat performance dis sunday and nex sat..
catch a movie sumwhr nex wik...
strt work,most probably,on the 8th nov..

okie dokes..
thts it..
chiaows!!!

its been 2 days...

2008-10-16T17:30:00.002+08:00

argh!!! haha..random..hehe
okies..HARLOW!!
well,its been 2 DAYS..
rifky hasn't cntcted me since the incident..
actuali he did,on the day of the incident itself..
but i was too angry to pick up his calls..
i dun regret tho..i juz dun..

if he reali is sorie,i expect hym to mit me personaly n apologise..
but most importantly,apologise to my dear FENDI...
my gud fren thr felt so hurt..so m i,rifky..

rifky has changed alot..in ALL aspect..
mayb its juz part of growing up..
or maybe its part of guys' life wen they'r about to go NS..
but WTH?! dun torture others..PLS!
i luv the old rifky..
maybe im just not used to the new rifky..
he's so unreasonable for the past few wiks..
makin a fuss over a small matter..
cummon,he's suppose to be the more understanding 1..
his 18 for god's sake!
guys these days are juz so temperimental..(wateva tht meas.lol)

well,to tell u guys the truth..
im missing him so badly..
but still,im angry at him for being so unreasonable the othr day..
ive tried understanding his tots..
bt he juz made thgs worst..
ive given hym a chance b4..
i'll hv 2 thk 10 times if he were to ask 4 anthr chance,AGAIN!

okie dokes..
peacing out!

"Ahmad Rifky Irwan...
i miss you..so so much!
but i hvnt 4given u til u xplain to me EVRITIN!
hope to hear frm u soon,BOY!"

on MC again!

2008-10-14T18:19:00.003+08:00

waddup peepz!
today is my 2nd and dhe last day tht im on MC!
i woke reasonably early today..LOL!
well,rifky woke me up at 6AM!!
bcos he cudnt go bck to sleep..
he hd to giv me 6 missed calls,b4 i woke up..hehe
wen i woke up,i immediately called him..
he sounded so awake,while i ws still feelin sleepy..haha
we talked crap for 1 WHOLE hr!
and talked bout our plans for the day,for the next 1/2hr..
aft the conversation,i decided to go bck to sleep..
and woke up at 11 Am..haha...

i left for tampines library at ard 12pm..
met up wif rifky den headed for KFC!!
the whole time at KFC,we didnt talk..PELIK!
wen we exit from KFC,i asked him lh..
"asl ni?senyap je.tadi bbual kt telefon,ade je crite die."
he juz smiled...
i got so irritated tht i stopped walking n sat at the bustop..
buat muker bingit pon ade..haha..
den he approached me lh kn..n TRIED to pujuk..
i juz kept my BINGIT face..LOL!!
he keep repeating his line..
"sorie lh.jgn majok lh.senyum lh skt."
IRRITATING BUGGER!
bt in the end,i gave in..
i gave him a smile n we carried on with our journey to sunplaza park..

at the park,he didnt say a word AGAIN!
i bugged him about his problem..
n i found out tht he fought with my best guy fren..
MEPEK NYE!!! GRRR!!!!
he jealous tht im close with this guy tht i consider to be my bestfren..
he insist tht i cnt befren tht guy animore..RELEK SUA!
tht guy n me knw each othr so well..
kinda betta than how much rifky knws me..
i tried to pujuk him..
this is NOT the first time seyy..haiz...
bt its the first time im threatening him tho..
"u jgn nk cari psl!tkkn nk jealous psl bende ni?mengarutnye!
he is juz a fren.NOTHING more,lh boy!klau u ttp nk cari psl ngn dier,
im nt gonna cntct u the nex few wiks..or mayb mnths or years!
so unreasonable! im not even jealous wen u still rpt wif ur ex.
did i even care? NO! i dun freakin care!so,juz bck off frm hu i wanna be frens wif.."
he was SPEECHLESS!! haha
ive nvr talked tht way to him,today was the first time..
i dun regret sayin tht,cos i knw ive made my stand..
now,im juz waitin for him to apologise..

Fendi,dun tke ,wateva rifky had said,to ur heart aites..
juz kip livin ur life aites bro?
catchya ard real soon wen thgs hv settled between me n him..
holla to the guys in the west for me aites?
been missin them lately..u too..

okie dokes..
today was a hell of a ride for me...
hope thgs wud settle real soon..
peace!

on MC!!

2008-10-13T20:40:00.003+08:00

harlow world! hehekz..
today n 2mrw im on MC!! whoots!
demam,flu,cough n rashes..wow!

vewie dhe boring u knw!
but atleast rifky TRIED cheering me up..
msged me ALL the stupid jokes..
made my stomach wanna burst..
it helped ABIT! but i soon got irritated..
SOWIE BOY! hehe

heres my schedule for the week:
monday(today): MC! stay home..
tuesday: MC! miting rifky @ tamp library..
wednesday: schl..rifky n buddies cmg over..
thursday: schl..go home n SLACK!
friday:schl.silat!
saturday:aunty supi engagement.collection!
sunday:go collection wif PRECC peeps..

well,thts it for the wik..
kinda slacking since EOY are over..
frens cmg over n stuff..
rifky kinda pissed for not spending enough time with hym..
sorie lh boy..
if spend too much tym wif u,the gang will be pissed at me..
vise versa..
so,gotta be fair u knw!

okie dokes..
till here aites!
peace out!

collection with TK peeps

2008-10-11T11:07:00.002+08:00

okey..HIE!
today is my tcher trsyg nye bday..
'cher Reza..
so i wanna wish him lh..
a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY..
u r anthr year older..haha!
semoga u dipnjgkn umur,dimrhkn rezki n hapie always!
stay gud lukin n hapie always!cheers!
all the best for ur future endeavores..
hv an everlasting life with ur GF..

nari aku veri mendak..
n definitely tired..haha..
later in e aftnn nk go collection with fam..
boyfie ajk go ECP,bt cnnt lh..sowie taw!
2mrw pon nk jln raye..
tk jadi gi JB..hmph!
cos abg achik nk kawen..oOo

monday its bck to schl..
gettin bck exam paper! argh!!!
monday morning got STUPID games carnival...
stupid sia schl! aft games carnival is bck to normal timetable..

okey2..
till here oni..
take care!
peace!

hari raya pics..

2008-10-08T17:25:00.005+08:00

Take a look at some pics i took during the last few days wen i jln raya..

if u were to noticed,i have cut my hair! haha..

but its shorter than wat i had wanted..DAMN!

Aidilfitri 2008

@ noyang's place

Balek kampung!! Kampung @ Pulau Ubin!

Faris and ME!

@ nenek teh's place..

8 october 08

2008-10-08T16:31:00.003+08:00

waddup shawty!
any updates in life?
was it an upgrade or a downgrade?

anw,today's ashraf's birthday..
so im here wishin him a..
HAPIE 15th BIRTHDAY!!
may u hv a fruitful birthday..
all the best for ur future endeavores..

ok den..nw..go bck on track aites..
today is the last day of EOY exams!!
i had my DnT paper..
n i thk i screwed it up..haha..
definitely NOT a surprise..haha..
err..yea..
anw,dis friday gonna jln raya..
with TK girls..12 of us taw..
ramai kn? haha..
we planned out our destinations..
we visiting evri1 of our houses..
and side track to the teachers house too..

btw,i had planned to visit my bro,reza..
supposed to be dis wik..
bt den he bz n got his own plans..
its kinda ok for me..
i cn still find othr days to go over to his plcae..
im buying sumtin for him for his bday..
planning to go bugis wif sa'amah to get it..
ive seriously missed him..aww!!
even if raya da over,i still wud go n visit him..
DEEPAVALI pon jadi lh..haha..
i cn also find time durin the Nov hols..

ok2..
till here je..
da mls nk type uh..hehe
peace!

5 october

2008-10-05T16:59:00.004+08:00

hie ppl!
sesungguhnye aku mendak n boring!
mk bpk aku gi kota tinggi..
dgn nenek aku lh kn..
drg gi jln raye..
aku ni malas nk ikut..
lagipun bsok ade exam..baskett!!
so,tinggal aku n adek2 aku je kt uma..
MENDAK OI!!!

anw,nari abg odeng n abg lah nye bday..
so aku nk kasi wish skt lh..
Hapie birthday yg ke 21 thn..
semoga dipangjangkn umur..
dn juga dimurahkan rezeki..
best wishes for ur future endeavores yea?
nnt lau sempat me n my frens akn singgah uma yer?

ok..skg aku nk critekn satu bende..
dat day kn..err..friday yg aru lps ni..
aku ade gi uma rifky ngn kwn2 aku..
dier ade open house..
kecoh seyy sumer..LOL!
kul 715 g2,rifky dtg amek ktrg kt uma Jj..
naek krete dok! krete dier..haha
sampai je,cuzz dier sumer da kecoh..
aku salam sumer yg ade lh kn..
sampai aku tk tahu sape yg aku da salam..
so aku adelh salam org dua kali kn..haha..
krg nk tahu tk??? nk tk? hee
rifky tlg bonda masak rendang n acar..
SEDAP OI! TK TIPU!! haha
aku n kwn2 stay sampai kul 1230 seyy..
ktrg tlg kemas lh..tlg mkn pon ade..
den kul 10 g2 kn..
ktrg sumer nyanyi karoke..kekek dok!
sumer rosakkn lagu je..biase lh tu..
bonda kasi ktrg sumer $25 for tlg dier..
den rifky anta ktrg sumer alek..BEST!

ok2..
till here..
nk blaja uh..
peace!
-inuka-

salam aidilfitri

2008-10-02T14:35:00.003+08:00

waddup guys?
how was your aidilfitri this yer?
da byk collection? haha
yg da tuer2 tu,kocek da kosong ke? LOL!

anw,mine was kinda ok..tiring..
first day da collect $100++..
from seblah my father..
my mother side..another $100++..
tapi tu lom add my kwn2 nye side sumer..
2mrw night i going to visit bonda's house..
or rifky's place..
he calls his mum bonda n father ayahanda..
his mum also ask to call them bonda n ayahanda..
style lh seyy..first tym dok!

aku kire2 duit kn..
dis yer mcm lebih skt dari last yer..
maklum lh kn..
da lebih ramai kwn..
gang belo,bdk2 silat,gig members n ramai lagi lh..
den werk pon aku dpt gaji nnt..
kirekn cm duit raye g2 lh..xtra charge taw!
abg angkat aku sumer kasi ku $50..wow!
da jadi org kaya lh aku ni! whoots!
tapi aku kasi drg $20 alek..
for a change,aku nk show some appreciation..
drg da byk bantu aku.n sentiasa ade di sisi aku ni.
at first drg tknk..mati2 lak tu..
den aku make sure drg amek..
"abg,adek nk minta maaf atas segala dosa yg adek da lakukan.adek nk abg amek $20 ni psl adek nk abg tahu yg adek appreciate ape yg abg da buat untuk adek.thx alot for being thr wen i needed u.."
"sweetnye!" tu je drg ckp..aww..

oklh..
skg aku nk gi blaja..
bsok ade literature exam dok!
stress nye aku!
tkpe..
atleast hapie psl da raye!
SALAM AIDILFITRI!!
-inuka-

"Im learning to fall. I cant hardly breathe."

crush

2008-09-29T16:24:00.003+08:00

me 2nd post!(abeh bangga??)
k..wateva..
nk post lyric lh..
Crush by David Archuleta

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside

It was a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever

the song is damn nice lh..
hope u like it too..
peace!

29 sept 08

2008-09-29T15:55:00.002+08:00

waddup guys! n gals!
bsok puase da LAST!! whoots..
den kte hapie2..or NOT!
haiz..amcm raye leh de exam lak??
tk tahu nk plan btol2 pe? baskett!!
-----------------------------------------
anw,nari aku ade 2 paper..
chemistry paper 2 n history..
chemistry reasonably hard lh..haha
history?? source based je senang..
essay aku tk phm ape aku tulis pon..
maen rembat je lh! LOL!
bsok pon ade paper..aiseyman!
mathematics paper 1 and social studies..
ade ke patut adekn exam eve of raye??
so,aku plan nk blaja mathematics je nari..
social studies leh bace notes last minute..
senang skt nk igt lau cm g2..
lau mathematics kene igt sumer formula..
pening kepala aku dibuatnye..haha
------------------------------------------
aku tk sabar nk raye..
walaupun tgh exam..XD
kerana,aku dpt relek skt..
enjoy ngn sumer cuzzie ku..
bt den,its bck to schl n exam..
atleast da leh mkn kn? haha
------------------------------------------
so..
dis yer raye..
aku plan nk gi ruma 'cher kesygn ku..MUST!
'cher reza lh..sape lagi kn? haha..
kenapa kesygn? aku pon tk tahu..LOL!
aku plan nk gi on 11 october..
tk slh aku,tu bdate dier lh..aku rase lh..
maklum lh,da satu tahun tk jumpe..
tapi aku ttp cntct dier..
tanye khabar dier..his life story lh..haha..
aku pon tgk gmbr die kn,dier cm laen skt..
as in the way he luks lh..bt its GOOD! XD
sejak dier tkr skola,rindu jgak kt dier..
mcm ade bende je yg tk lengkap..hehe
aku igt nk sambut raye n his bday together..
COOL kn? kn? kn? ok..LAME!
i just wanna see him aft 1 whole year! ;)
-----------------------------------------
krg de prasan tk?
almost evri word yg aku post kn..
spell full..almost lh..MELAYU LAGI!
alah..once in awhile..heh..
kene tgk mood..LOL!
klah..
nk gi study..
peace!
-inuka-

26 sept

2008-09-26T14:01:00.002+08:00

hola ppl!
today is officially the strt of EOY!!!
i had english paper 1 & 2 today..
it ws reasonably ok...i thk..
its been awhile since i updated huh?
4 days ryt??
as u guys shud knw,im vewie bz lately..
nk study katekn..haha..
n hari raya prep n all...woah!
-------------------------------------------
so..
my baby belo is currently in USA..
visit kak long dia ke sape enth..
he is due to land in s'pore on weds morning..
pagi hari raye summore..2AM...
i cnt fetch hym..duh-uh!!!
sape yg nk gi bgn tgh2 mlm utk gi airport je?
no thx ehk..haha..sowie rifky..
i meet u wen we wanna go jln raye je lh k?
n i cmfrm go ur kenduri..i thk so lh..
insya'Allah ntg crops up..
i wish u "selamat menyambut syawal yg akn menjelang"..
msg me wen u've landed k?
DONT CALL!! HEHE..
----------------------------------------
my family got dis yer's syawal all planned out..
first wikend of the raye,nk go melaka..
balik kampong lh kn..haha..
den go visiting almost evri day..
dis means oni 1 thg..
jln raye kene bwk buku utk blaja..LOL!
eew!!! nerdnye!! haiz..
tapi,ape nk buat kn? tgh exam u knw!
----------------------------------------
ok lh..
till here..
wish me luck for exams k?
peace!
"SLAMAT MENYAMBUT SYAWAL
YANG AKAN MENJELANG INI!"
-inuka-